Marianne,
Going through all that we have had to endure is like pregnancy. We look forward to an unknown outcome and endure some awful tourtures and great discomfort afterwards and have the same thoughts of "never again."
My husband recently said that other people go to night clubs,museums,zoos, museums, concerts,etc. but our "dates" are to doctors, the drugstore, the grocery, to pray and to take the grandkids to Walmart.

It is tiring just going to all the appointments even without the debilitating aftereffects of treatments and surgeries. I postponed reconstruction for quite a while but relized that the possible benefits would be worthwhile. Although the surgery and recovery were very difficult and in the end i was not able to have either a prothesis or implants as I had hoped, I am happy that I had the surgery.

I strongly encourage you to go forward with the surgery. Pain is indeed awful but infections are dangerous and can also lead to more pain.