Lizze,
I am 2 weeks & 3 days out from my IMRT and Cisplatin, and I still can't believe it happened to me! I teach choir, singing, and general music in a small town in Kansas to middle and high school students. I do not fit the profile. I have never smoked, have never drunk a lot of alcohol of any sort, mostly wine when I did. My husband is also great, and my three grown children are fabulous. My 97 year old aunt I think always thought I took after her in health. I could go on, but you get the idea.

I wanted to avoid radiation and chemo so badly. I had the smallest lesion on my tongue, it seemed that I would get out of it relatively easy. Then for some reason I had this metastasis within a month after it was removed. Unfortunately when the lymph node was removed and the lab worked on it they found microscopic extracapsular extension. That takes you back into radiation and chemo.

I had my treatment at MD Anderson, which is 11 hours away from my home, but was worth the trip. I felt like I got great treatment. I weathered it all better than I thought. I am back home now, feel not bad, but not good either. At least my neck does not burn like it did for the last week of radiation and the 1st week post, and my sores in my mouth are much better.

I could go on, but what you really need to know is that to get well, which is I'm sure what you want, you really are going to need to do whatever that excellent doctor in New York suggests, or what the oncologist or tumor board suggests. As you already know, they are going to say radiation and chemo of some sort.
So this post is somewhat like Cheryl's.

You won't have quite the same life, but who is to say it can't be better in some ways. And you can win the battle, and enjoy your family, and encourage others. Wish you did not have to do this, but you came to a good spot for meeting others with your disease.

Anne