You've had quite the time Marci - definitely not an easy road and our hearts go out to you on the loss of your mom as such a young age.

With regard to thinking that what doctors are saying is gospel and not wanting to be labeled the "difficult patient" (anyone remember the Seinfeld episode where Elaine was identified on her chart as DIFFICULT?). I too suffer, I think from not being AS DIRECT as I would like to be with my doctors. I have gotten much better but initially I felt I might be insulting them if I questioned their plans. LET THOSE THOUGHTS GO. That isn't true and in fact doctors do like when patients ask the questions and express their fears clearly. That way, they can treat appropriately. TELL THEM how you feel. You will be shocked and very pleased at how receptive they are.

Make a list of all your questions. There are no DUMB questions. Take someone with you so that you can both discuss the answers afterwards.

This isn't a time for shyness. You are your advocate!

Hugs

Donna