Sorry to hear about your husband and the pain you must still feel, I find myself asking many what ifs as I watch my father lie dying from not the cancer directly but all the treatments he has had to try and cure it unsuccessfully.. He was initially given a good prognosis but when it re-occured a terminal prognosis and choices to help ease his horrible pain and I guess I will alwasy question did he choose wrong and could he be in a "better" state if he had made different choices... but am told this will just make me crazy. I do know I am much more informed NOW and would do a lot of things differently if I had to help someone else make choices with this horrible disease... but recognize the outcome may be the same - hope you find all the answers you need