Janice, I cant begin to image what is going thru. Im sure this is eating you up inside. Please do yourself a huge favor and stop to think this thru logically without taking the blame. Not that you werent being logical, but take a step back for a minute. You didnt do anything to cause this situation, you have only helped your husband. I am so glad that you found OCF to lean on and for information and advice. Putting blame on what went wrong wont change this.

I am so sorry to see what your family is going thru. You did everything possible to prepare for the surgery. From the messages we sent back and forth I know you were ready for everything except such awful news. I dont think anyone could prepare for something like that. Im so glad that you had the difficult talks with your husband prior to this operation. You knew upfront when to say no to the doc to take any more out.

Im sure Charm will chime in soon. He has undergone radiation twice. Sure things arent great for him, but he is here and strives to make the best of his situation. He will be able to explain what his circumstances were that led to doing rads twice. Im hoping that Brian or David chime in here too about the HPV+ issue. They are the experts on that subject.

I think Ive had 7 surgeries related to cancer since April 2008. There has been so many different treatments and things Ive gone thru its hard to keep track. While its not easy, luckily I was strong enough to get thru everything. I hate to compare since we are all different and respond to every procedure/medication in our own way. Your husband is relatively young. From his profession I would assume he is in decent shape and strong. This will help with whatever path is chosen. In my uneducated opinion it couldnt hurt to go to Johns Hopkins for another opinion. One person from my area drove down there when they had a recurrence. Its worth a shot, I dont know if it would change anything but at least its a chance.

I wish there was something I could do or say to change Mike's diagnosis. How I hate cancer!!!! What it does to good people is terrible. Please feel free to PM me anytime. I will keep you, Mike and your family in my prayers. (((HUGS)))