So here's what i say, the more you keep looking for problems, the more you are going to find. You should just stop looking, and just wait for the oral surgeon on the 8th. I know it feels like such a long time, but i had to wait from november when i found my initial spot, till march when they actually biopsied it.

I know it wasnt the acid reflux that caused it, and I know it was acid reflux when they said it was and not cancer! My cancer was in my tongue and 1 lymph node. Also the acid reflux was dx five years before my cancer dx, and they say that they feel my cancer was very aggressive and that i may have only had it for the most a year or 2, but they can't say for sure of course.

And what I don't get is why if you got a cancer dx you wouldn't go through with surgery!! Didn't you say you had a child? I am sure you have other reasons to want to keep on trucking and actually go through treatment if it is in fact cancer!

I am sorry you had that experience at the hospital, but at least the doctor there told you it was a good idea to go see the oral surgeon.

The white spots on ur gums may just be thrush, but it also may have been there a lot longer and you are just now noticing, because you are looking for new abnormalities constantly and you keep telling yourself you are so sick that you will more then likely die so you need to get ur things in order. When you tell yourself that, your mind can play games with you, and some of your symptoms can just be in your head, so a dx or a negative could help put some of those symptoms to bed, or finally give you piece of mind.

No matter what the results, i think you should go to thanksgiving, even if you are in pain and can't eat that well, it would be good to see your family if you really are as sick as you think you are, wouldn't you want to see them one more time at least? And besides you should go, not talk about all of this stuff, and just have one day where you enjoy the company of your family and loved ones without worrying or talking about all of this.
Also, stop showing your friends, as they will be biased by seeing how worried you are!! They aren't dentists, doctors, or experts in this, so they are only going to make you worry more.
Stop looking on the internet too, it's not always accurate.
Stop looking for new symptoms, the more you look, the more you will "find" cuz like i said, you are scared/worried and your mind can play games on you.
Don't rule out treatment yet. If it is cancer, just hear them out. You have reasons to fight this, even if its just for yourself, the strong go through battle, the weak just give in and let it win without a fight, and no matter how much you don't think it's worth it, it is!!
I say, you do what you can to get your mind off of this, stop thinking about it, find something else to busy your mind. Spend time with family and friends, and don't bring any of this up to them anymore because it won't help you.
Also check with your county on monday. If you aren't working and are "low income" they almost always have some form of medical insurance programs for you, if they don't, check your local hospitals, they do sometimes too.

I wish you the best and hoping that this is just some odd infection that is spreading and causing pain else where, and maybe just ur mind playing games on you, and not cancer, and that they get it all cleared up for you, so you can move forward from this and be a strong person and learn that everyone has a reason to fight cancer and not just give up and let it win, even if it's not cancer!!

And to tell you the truth, it kind of upsets me to see someone before cancer dx even considering just giving up. Look at me for heavens sake, i was 25, in nursing school, working as a cna and had a great life. I had everything ripped out from under me. I have people telling me i can't go back to nursing school or being a cna because of my speech, but they can't stop me from proving them wrong, and I went through hell during treatment, but in my opinion it was all worth it, because I am still alive today and able to keep proving those bastards wrong that say i won't be able to do things!!

Don't give up, no matter what it is, and if the oral surgeon tells you it's nothing or just a infection and not cancer, and he does a bunch of tests - scoping, biopsy, scan, palpating and still tells you it's nothing, and you still don't believe it, talk to a CCC around you, they have a list on here, and if you went there, and they still tell you know, then you should just put it out of your mind, and move on, but don't give up on trying to find out what it is that is making you so sick, even if it is just your head!