Deb,
Keep that list going and take it with you to the doctor. The effects of radiation are different for everyone. I had radiation before my surgery at a local hospital where they determined that my growth was compromising critical organs, ears, eyes,etc. I was referred to a CCC after radiation & chemo and both the PS & ENT are skeptical of that original decision to do radiation. They both wish I had seen them first because the damage from radiation has made their job more difficult than it should have been and the outcome would have been so much better. I was too scared and too uninformed to ask about a 2nd opinion. Side effects vary and can last for years. For me, trismus has become a big issue only recently after my last surgery. The inability to heal quickly is another side effect that many of us suffer from. I also lost a lot of weight from the combination of chemo & rad., but he will gain it back.
As with all your questions, everyone has a different experience. For me, the feeding tube wasn't so bad the first year. I had it replaced after more than a year and the 2nd time, it was botched. (The CCC insisted I go back to the local hospital that initially put it in...big mistake! I won't go back again to have it fixed.) More importantly is how much Bob is eating now and going forward. You mentioned giving him Ensure but I don't believe there are enough calories in Ensure alone. He should be getting a least 3000 calories a day. There are others in OCF who are more well versed on this than I am.
As for disability and any other services or benefits you might be entitled to, apply for them all now! It can't hurt and you might be surprised. The hospital might also be able to help you or suggest things you don't even know about.

Like so many others in the forum, I believe your best course would be to go to a CCC and I have to believe the VA will refer you if you ask. I didn't think I was "eligible" because I am a charity case. It was only after my local hospital couldn't help any further that they referred me to a CCC, my point being that if I had known, I would have asked for a 2nd opinion prior to radiation.

Best wishes and keep those questions coming!
Pat