Thank you David. You almost make me feel normal!!!hehheheheh. I guess for me "cancer" has finally sunk in. When i was first diagnosed in March 10,it was ony the size of a pea and my ENT said "nothing to worry about, we'll cut it out and problem solved". I didnt even think about it again, even after they told me the margins werent clear, i just thought go back in and cut it again - no problems. While i'm waiting to get back into hospital, two more lumps appear!! ENT surgeon assured me its just the stitches making my tongue imflamed. Due to a bad cold, surgery was delayed, and it was probably 6 six after the first op that i went it to get the margins cleared, ,meanwhile they looked at the two new lumps and decided that they were cancerous!!! My ENT then decided since the cancer was so aggressive, i better have radiation and it was urgent since the reappeared so quickly. I went through everything - recovering from having a flap attatched, teeth pulled out, then radaiation and chemo so quickly that i never got the chance to worry about cancer. I guess it was ignorance and stupidity as well, i thought that the less i know the less scared i would be of all the things i was going through. Its only been just very recently that i realised how dangerous oral cancer can be and how easy you could die from it!! I have been on panic mode ever since!!! Its finally dawned on me that its posssible that i could die from it!!

While the OCF website has provided me with so much information and knowledge on oral cancer, it has also inspired me with all the survivor stories. Meanwhile it has also has scared me to DEATH that recoccurences are so common!!! I often get off the site a bit shaky because it seems that almost everyone who post on hear have a very long battle with oral cancer!!! I now worry constantly that my battle is not over yet and worry that i wont have the strength to go through anymore treatment.

Minh