Hi Minh
You are so normal!
My Alex was almost exactly 3 weeks out of treatment when he started getting frustrated with what he sees as a lack of progress. He was stuggling with fatigue and bored with being home, but equally scared of going back to work. He was frustrated with being unable to eat and had nothing to break up his day and couldn't concentrate to do anything anyway. He was worrying over a litany of everyday things that we have not even considered for the last 6 months as we have literally staggered from day to day without consideration for next weekend, let alone next week! All normal reactions to coming out the other side of a life changing event.

Fear the cancer is creeping up on us? Absolutely. For Alex, the first ulcer to appear was the last ulcer to heal, and yes the question about whether or not it was something sinister crept into both of our minds even though we knew the likelihood was extremely remote.

Coughing? Hell yes, the second he lay down in bed. Gut wrenching stuff that made me think he was about to throw up. And by the way he can't sleep more than a couple of hours at a time either and ends up on the lounge at 3am = also normal.

Just because you don't have an appointment with your ENT or oncologist doesn't mean you can't make one for yourself. If you had a treatment co-ordinator get in touch with them and ask for advice, if not, call the radiation department and talk to anyone you remember as being kind or useful or might know something to help you. Ask your social worker for advice about seeing a counsellor - they won't be able to tell you if your cancer is coming back but they will reassure you that what you are feeling is absolutely normal and to be expected.

We are in Sydney and we are here to help.

You WILL feel better and some days you will even feel happy. You are very young and are likely to bounce back a lot faster than any of us "old farts".

Good luck and we will keep an eye on you if you keep posting

Karen