I'm so sorry you are both having to go through this. As a CG I know how difficult it is to know when to be firm or when to be gentle or just give a hug. I think it must have helped that you were able to vent at the doctor's office, though. At one point, when my son was not following his meds schedule and being depressed and irritable, someone here told me to put my "nurse from hell" hat on and I did. I told him that I loved him so much and wanted him to get better but I felt like I was the only one doing all the work of fighting the cancer and that he had to help me out at least a little bit and then I stomped out. Of course I felt so guilty afterwards and cried a lot because I knew it was rough on him. I feel for the two of you - cancer is such a horrible, unkind disease - it makes one feel so out of control. We all fight it in different ways and maybe being obstinate is just one way of being able to fight it or try to have some control. Please know that we all care about both of you so much and hoping for things to go a little smoother.