I can't say that I have been in your situation-I was caregiver to my husband who also had a neck tumor. He started out with BOT cancer and then it progressed. He went through rads and several rounds of chemo and nothing stopped the progression. He took everything they suggested even though it was clear that none of it was helping. I wish he would have stopped sooner as the quality of life was pretty poor at the end. Only you can make this decision and it is a most important one. Can you get a second opinion? Being cutup and sick is something noone would look forward to, especially someone who had already been through it.