Welcome to OCF. I will attempt to help you with some of your questions.

First, age is just a number. While you are not a young girl, you come across as very intelligent and up to date. Sure the younger people will bounce back faster than someone who is older. It doesnt mean that you cant get thru this surgery and recovery. No, its not easy but it can be done. The oldest person I can think of that had chemo and radiation was aprox 92. Surgery is not easy either but is different to recover from than chemo/rads.

Several OCF members have resumed their singing careers after being treated.

Ultimately it is your choice to be treated or not. I am hoping you give it a shot. Dying from oral cancer is not a pleasant way to go.

Do you have family or friends nearby who would give you some help? Most insurances will pay for a visiting nurse. Ive had many of them over the past few onths, 95% of them were excellent. You may even qulaify for a home health aid to help with other daily things like laundry, groceries, cleaning. Since you are active in 3 singing groups, there should be several people who offer to help you. Take them up on it. Make a list of everyone who offers to help and keep it handy for when you need it. Dont feel guilty either, people want to help and usually dont know how.

Hope Ive been helpful. Best of luck with your decisions.