All cancer is bad, that's indisputable. But we all have to agree that oral cancer carries a very real psychological issue that other cancers usually don't - and that's the fact that effects of the cancer and the treatment are so visible to everyone who sees you, and also the social aspects related to speaking and eating are enormous. I was very happy to participate in some research at MDACC that they were doing on exactly these issues. If I had breast cancer - yes, it's a devastating disease but unless I chose to tell someone they wouldn't know. However, even though my surgery was relatively minor compared to a lot of folks here, I remember how self-conscious I was right afterwards when I was around a lot of people...one instance I will never forget was when we came home from Houston 4 days after surgery, and my husband was pushing me in a wheel chair through the busy Atlanta airport and I was just praying I wouldn't see anyone I knew (I travel a lot in business and always run into people in the airport).

And Petey - I am so sorry you are in the position you are in now - you have been such a friend and supporter to so many.