My primary cancer is on the left bottom side of my tongue. Its funny, my speech is returning ok but I can no longer whistle which makes me sad. I guess if there is one good thing that is that I get to go through all of this before summer. I would be very depressed if I was sick in the summer time.

I am currently living with my parents who are supportive. But that was supposed to be a temporary situation- my house is up for sale in another town and I just got my first job after graduate school, and they needed someone to watch their house while they were in Mexico for a month. But its turning into a frighteningly permanent situation of having most of my things in boxes and cramming as much of my life as possible into a tiny bedroom.

So I have a lot of support from my parents but they aren�t a good choice for a lot of this stuff. My brother was killed 5 years ago and my mom is still pretty fragile from that, and now trying to deal with me�� I know she is in a state of panic all the time. It�s a little too close for comfort sometimes, and she isn�t someone that I can have a real conversation with. Its really important to be as good as possible all the time for her�.. always have to have a happy face and cavalier attitude- hence the loneliness. I feel pretty alone.

I wanted a peg tube so bad when they did the first surgery but I had gastric bypass which makes the peg not an option for me. They did a pic line with some nutrients but I don�t know if that will happen again or not. I don�t have to have chemo which is good.

Right now I am hoping that I am going to get through this and be able to work and try to live a little bit, but I really don�t know what to expect.

Thanks you guys for all your input. It really helps to know you are there and that you know what this is like. I am glad I found you

Lisa from Montana