What a good sister you are. As for the feeding tube, as Christine noted, not every oral cancer patient needs them. You can see from posters like EZJim that even with massive jaw surgery and teeth removal, that the key is whether or not you can still swallow.
The majority of OCF posters who did get feeding tubes only had them for what I consider a very short time. The small minority like myself and Roger Ebert who will never eat again are not representative of oral cancer outcomes. Unlike Jen's experience, we found the nutritionist and dietitian services to be totally worthless. That also seems to be the common experience of all the posters on the GI tube forum and blenderized diet Yahoo group. The hospital should set up the delivery of the liquid "food" but it's just canned corn syrup solids and maltodetrin with faux fiber. I put up it with it only until it became clear I would not regain swallowing and now use my Vitamix to eat the same meals as my wife.
Just take it one day at a time and keep coming to OCF
Keep the faith
Charm