Hey Barb,
I remember the day over 10 years ago, when I was diagnosed with stage 4, squamous cell carcinoma. I asked the surgeon how long I had. He laughed and said,"We don't talk like that any more. The time you have left will depend on you as much as your oncological team."
He coached me on staying positive and I can't tell you how important that is. There may be times when you despair but keep in touch with us and your family and friends.
Incidently, I was also a heavy smoker and have only recently been able to quit, thanks to a miracle drug called Champix in Canada and Chantix elsewhere. Chin up, good fortune and call if you need any support, advise or info.
PS I was 53 when diagnosed, I'm 64 now.