rob woke up in excrutiating pain today and nothing we did helped.I called the nurses and they called the doctor and he sat and held my hand and said he had had enough and he didnt think he would make it to yorkshire.
i told him it it was ok to let go if that is what he wants.He has sorted out his affairs and said his goodbyes and i told him not to worry about me,and now he is resting in the local hospice.The tumour is attacking the jawbone and the trigeminal nerve.the doctor spent along time with rob today asking how he felt and what he wanted and asked if he felt anxious or scared to which he answered no just tired and angry.

They have upped his fentanyl to 150mcg,put him on 75mg tryptilline and morphine and diclofenac and steroids.They say he is allowed two beers a day and there is a garden where he can have a cigarette if he wants.his room is very private and comfortable and he seems settled.when i left this evening he was sitting in the sunshine in the garden with a beer in his hand,looking very serene.

I dont know if we have much time left ,they say he may get home again,but then again he might not,his sister flies in tonight and his brother tomorrow,the last two pieces of his lifes jigsaw.

Pray hard for my love that he ends his life the way he chooses,pain fre and at peace