Liz,

Just my 2 non medical cents...I'm afraid he doesn't want anyone to know how bad he is because he doesn't want to stop his drinking and smoking and I really believe he's willing to die for his addictions.

I do however agree that he did show a weak moment when he wanted to talk to you BUT I don't know if that was just to make you feel sorry for him or he was reaching out for help.

He just seems so addicted to his routine that I'm afraid he's not in control of his senses. I hope you will find a way to get him to listen to reason but don't beat yourself up if you can't. I think a lot of caregivers would have already given up by now with what you've been through.

Remember, you are not superwoman and miracles are hard to come by.

David

Age 58 at Dx, HPV16+ SCC, Stage IV BOT+2 nodes, non smoker, casual drinker, exercise nut, Cisplatin x 3 & concurrent IMRT x 35,(70 Gy), no surgery, no Peg, Tx at Moffitt over Aug 06. Jun 07, back to riding my bike 100 miles a wk. Now doing 12 Spin classes and 60 outdoor miles per wk. Nov 13 completed Hilly Century ride for Cancer, 104 miles, 1st Place in my age group. Apr 2014 & 15, Spun for 9 straight hrs to raise $$ for YMCA's Livestrong Program. Certified Spin Instructor Jun 2014.