Thank you all for taking the time to answer. After being strong for a long time, these feelings caught me by surprise. During my husband's tx and horrible recovery period, I felt that I did a good job supporting him, providing care, and keeping things in order.

I think I have to try to remember that this process, as Ginny says, will be erratic. Anger is normal, as Jim and Liz point out. Being hard on myself is not useful. It's not easy when anxiety takes over. I obviously have not accepted all the permanent changes, especially that the worry never ends. Lottie