Suzanne thankyou for your kind words X

Susan you are obviously one of those people who likes to know what is going to happen,and really no one can be sure of the nature off a percieved loss,but i will tell you from my experience both personal and from the friends i have lost here over the past 2 1/2 years that oral cancer can be a cruel death.By the same token susan it can be a swift and unexpected death.It really depends on the location and progression of the tumour.Tongue tumours can be particularly difficult as they obstruct the airway and cause breathing problems.A long time ago we had a poster here called Paul who's elderly mother refused all treatment and he cared for her at home until her death.He wrote a blog which was quite detailed and you may find that useful as it seems more relevant to your case.I will pop off now and see if i can find the date and page number for you.Age tends to bring a more peaceful death as the brains survival centre which fights so hard in the young seems more able to shut down and let nature take its course in the older patient.

Really nothing we say here can prepare you for the death of your mother and i am sorry for the loss you have to face,