Hi Debbie
i think you know that how you feel is pretty normal.From what i have seen on these boards it is something most people live with on a daily basis.Its weird really that the fear of recurrence is so great with oral cancer and a lot of that could be because the forums are full of people who it has happened to.Just try to focus on the many people who are no longer here because they have been "cured" and moved on and away .I also think that OC is a particularly cruel cancer as it leaves behind so many things for you to deal with so its difficult to forget you had it.Please just stay with us and let it all out .I know you are not alone feeling like this and you will get support from your friends.