the most important thing to do in my opinion is to be sure that you go with your father to ALL of his doctor appointments from now on. That way you will hear what the doctors actually say as well as be able to ask questions yourself, Plus a very common phenomenon is that male patients will answer "okay" or "fine" instead of telling the doctor of symptoms like getting up thru the night or choking on mucous, pain, etc etc
Yes, educate yourself on this forum by reading the posts and asking questions but too many caregivers (not the ones here though) rely upon hearsay of the patient. Plus it really helps the patient to have another set of ears to take notes and not have to repeat everything when he gets home,
Finally, I was 60 when I was first diagnosed and also had Stage IV cancer - you can see from my signature below how much radiation and surgery I have had and YES my quality of life is very much diminished from before, so I really do understand your father's fears. Perhaps all too well, because if I almost threw in the towel when the cancer came back because I did not want to live without being able to eat or speak (which did NOT happen the first time around so please do NOT panic). But it turns out Life is still worth living even without those basic pleasures. sorry you had to join us,
charm