New here. My wife (mid 50s) was diagnosed in May 2025 with Tongue/base of tongue SCC, which was staged at IVA with extension to nearby lymph nodes which after surgery was determined to include extra-nodal extension. She had a hemiglossectomy (about 60% removed) with free flap reconstruction in September 2025. Began radiation/chemo in mid-October and just finished the cycle. She’s also receiving immunotherapy

She had no known risk factors for this. Never smoked, careful about what she ate and drank, always exploring supplements she hoped would keep her healthy. So, we’ve both been stunned by her diagnosis.

Heart-broken to see the surgical devastation of her body and the suffering she’s enduring from the radiation. Scared that there’s a real chance I’m going to lose her before she’s even had time to grow old.

Hi Tobias,

Welcome to OCF and I am so sorry to hear about your recent diagnosis. I had similar stage 4 on my tongue out of nowhere five years ago. It is a long treatment and recovery process, many months or longer, and everybody responds differently and recovers differently. I can tell you there is hope. As you bounce around this site you will find many survivors that have been through this difficult path, and some of them 2 or 3 times. Yet, they find full lives out the other side. They inspire me.

As Chris and Mike advised, there is much to this process. And, it is often best to answer questions over time as it becomes overwhelming and hard to retain everything in one sitting. I will send you a private message with my cell number. Click on the envelop upper right of this screen to the left of your name and you should see private messages. Feel free to reach out to me via text or call.

A couple quick notes to reinforce what Chris and Mike said. Stay active, if just a one mile walk outside, so important to peace and recovery. Journal everything, whether written or video or audio notes. Journal your fears, your medical questions, your thoughts. I would wake up worried about whatever, jot it down, next thing, it would be 4 hours later and I found myself writing about my family, notes about growing up, things I wanted to make sure were shared with my loved ones no matter what. I would track my calories, weight, yoga, prayer sessions, you name it.

I am gonna cut myself off now and send the private note to you. Stay safe and keep the faith.

Nels

Hello Tobias,

There is no sugar coating it, what youre about to go through wont be easy. I really dont want to add anything thatll scare you, but hang in there. The other member who replied to your post gave you great advice. Eat as much as you can! If youre a thin guy or normal BMI, id strongly suggest you start packing on the calories now. You will lose a lot of weight which in turn will make youre recovery more difficult. So try eatting a lot of good calories and try packing on lean muscle as well. The surgery will be rough, but radiation will be worse. So do everything you can to pack on the weight! During Radiation, try and stay active no matter how poorly you feel. If you need more advice, send me DM and ill try to give you as honest and more accurate reply. Good Look!