Hi Stephany,
After my surgery and during the toughest days of radiation, I had trouble being a patient. I have always been the caretaker for my family and to lose that esteemed role was very painful for me, I felt like I was letting them down and that they would never think of me the same again. It made me feel like a burden to my family. My older girls (at the time 19, 21 and 22) had to deal with it and they did it very matter of factly. They took control and let me know that they were taking control. All out of love and the true desire to make it easier for me. They forced me to do the right thing, just as I had done with them many times while they were growing up. It allowed me to get healthier quicker and for my husband to be free to tend to our younger ones that needed that day to day care. I fought it at first and resented being babied, but they left me no choice. I was not happy with them at first but now have such respect for them and their strength to do what was right, even if it meant standing up against the allmighty mom! I realize now that it was selfish of me to worry about my control issues when it was hurting my children so much to see me hurting and suffering with the treatments. Once I let go and gave up that control, the difference in my children was wonderful, life became relatively normal again if that makes any sense at all.
In your situation and knowing what I know now, I would be willing to stand up to my mother and tell her that her way of doing things is affecting everyone around her also. Not to mention that it's affecting her healing process. Be blunt with her and tell her how it makes you feel, it may help. You're in my prayers.
Minnie