Anne-Marie, you've got some "not so simple " choices to make here. You are 52 yrs. old [if you are being honest] and you could have alot of good life ahead of you. You've got a formidable disease to fight, which will take alot of guts, strength and courage. Or you can just quit. So please make a list of why it might be good to be on the "top side of the grass" rather than under it- you should get help with this part if your depression has taken total control of your thought processes-
You can Fight to survive or quit and say "so long"

You have a Medical team who is prepared to fight for you and there is a Superbowl sized football stadiun full of people here who will support you if you choose to fight . Should you choose the alternative, some of us can help you with that part also. Amy in the Ozarks