Hi LWP,
Bums me out to know how how's and in pain you are. I did not have much pain from my radiation treatments. It was not pleasant, but definitely not like others, or what you seem to be experiencing. However I was in excruciating pain in 2011 from my first bout with this ugly cancer. I also do know a lot about being down. I was probably clinically depressed for weeks...self diagnosed. But staring into space in front of a window for weeks, and feeling numb was, I think, a good sign. Had horrible anxiety and finally took meds for that to sleep at night. You asked how you get through it all...I don't know...somehow we do...we just do. Expressing myself and reading here at the forum made an incredible difference for me. I actually read more than shared. It was my lifeline to sanity. Everyone here will stick by your side and talk you through it. Others will have many ideas on how to deal with the pain. Some people watched movies, others read, others walked. Me?...I withdrew and wore leggings with my sons flannel shirts everyday...hey that's what worked for me. And of course I'm sure you will be talking to your dr about pain medication.
Please keep on expressing yourself here and ask any questions that pop into your mind. No one will think you are a whiner. Please don't ever worry about that.
Best of luck to you. ~