John, we are all scared and have gone thru all kinds of emotions. Sometimes its necessary to take a step back and see things from a different point of view. Try to think clinically, which is to think of this situation as if you have a disease and this is what is necessary to cure it. Take it day by day and at least attempt to not be bothered by things out of your control.

Worrying will not make you feel one bit better. It only adds unneeded stress to your life and will actually make you feel worse. Maintaining a positive attitude helps you to stay calm and to be able to think clearly about the situation. Once you accept that the only thing you have control over is your intake of enough nutrition and hydration it makes it so much easier to handle mentally. Its a real skill to avoid thinking the "what if's". Every time your mind begins to go there, go do something positive for yourself like drink an ensure or bottle of water. That can be a positive way for you to fight back.

There are only 4 left and you have done excellent! When I was at your point, my 17 year old son practically carried me to a wheelchair and pushed me into the hospital. The doctor took one look at me and admitted me for malnutrition and dehydration. Now you can understand why I keep sounding like a broken record about getting a minimum of 2500 calories and 48 oz of water every single day. Im trying to help you avoid the problems that I went thru.

If you are in pain, ask for pain meds. At this point in your treatment most of us were on the fentanyl patch. Its the strongest pain killer on the market. I was at about 150mg at the end of my treatments for maybe a week before I went back down to 100mg. Do NOT suffer in pain! It doesnt help the patient to be hurting, its actually detrimental so make sure you speak up if you hurt.

You WILL return back to your old life, you WILL sing again. It just takes time. There have been several musicians here who have gone back to their careers after radiation treatments. It all comes down to the better you do with nutrition and hydration, the easier it will be for you to recover. Since radiation continues to work even after you stop treatments, you can count on the next 2 or 3 weeks to still be difficult. After that you will slowly begin to feel a little better every day. It will be 2 steps forward and one step back for the first 2 or 3 months post rads. The rule of thumb is that it takes one month of recovery for every week of radiation. Most patients are able to return to office type jobs 2 or 3 months after finishing. By the 4th of July you will be feeling alot better and by Labor Day you will be doing even better.

Hang in there, Im in your corner (even if you do get mad with me)!!!