John of Arc

Now that sounds better. BTW, your screen name is very clever. Your oncologist is correct that you will start healing the day TX stops, we're just giving you a heads up that the effects linger. When you stop putting dirt into a bucket of water under a faucet, the water does start getting clearer right away but it's still muddy for a long time. Same thing here.
Glad you are getting your mojo back. Your thoughts of giving up are quite common and normal. Actually you are doing fine compared to some. Take a look at this OCF news release on a more troubling aspect of this disease
Suicide rates
Hang in there. You can do this
Charm