Alpaca,

Congratulations on accepting your year-long teaching assignment! That is a clear sign that you are embracing life. You were offered your new job based on your qualifications and experience. Like most jobs, it is assumed that you will complete your assignment for the duration. While none of us can predict the future, we cannot offer guarantees on it either. Don't let the "what ifs" immobilize you.

It is lonely when you can't safely express your feelings to your loved ones. But many times they are not the best people to share with your fears about cancer. They are ill-equipped to handle such a weighty subject. Have you considered seeing a therapist or social worker? As a caregiver, I had my own fears about cancer and I could not say anything to my husband. He was leaning on me and I needed someone on which to lean on. It really helped me.

You have been through a lot and have come a long way. I wish you the best, keep posting and let us know how you are doing.

Anita