Thx Michelle Good choice of name for your daughter!! Yea I too am passable as a "normal" peron now my scars have faded so much and for that I am so grateful.... but sometimes people can figure out what is up with me/ People think I"m saying Tate--- I just keep trying. Most of the time they get Kate now but its usually at the gym when I don't have my prosthetic in (bc it sux to excercise w it in) and the teacher will insist on asking my name in front of the whole class. I don't care one on one or even if its a few people around but its really humiliating in a big crowd situation.. and they all just seem to ask me over and over.

I think they do finally know who I am in there oow. I do wonder what people think is wrong w me.I can see the wheels spinning.. its just that sometimes I just don't feel like launching into the whole story and drawing attention to myself-- Hate to be Debbie Downer ya know? But yes it is true not that many people even know about OC. I sure had never heard of tongue cancer before I got it!

Thanks for your story.Makes me feel better K

The pastor ask me to give an update in church. Oh that was fun.There are some words I just can't say to be understood by others. The Pastor had to repeat most of what I said because he goes woth mt for some appts. Finally I said, Rodney you tell them because you know.

When Martin came out of hospital after his surgery he had 26 staples from behind his ear to the front of his neck. People stared and looked away except smaller kids, who would go slack jawed and stare and look back and bump into things (the parents always told them off for staring because it's rude to stare, smiling meekly and taking a good look themselves). It didn't worry martin at that stage.
Now he is recovering after the weight loss.... The usual conversation that bothers Martin very much is like this:
"Hi Martin, you look well",
Then the next time we see them
"Oh you look so much better than last time I saw you, you looked like s**t!"
"Really? But you said I looked alright!"
"Oh no, you looked horrible I didn't want to say!".
Like this every time. So now Martin thinks that he always looks like s**t, and doesn't believe anyone. I suppose they are trying to be positive, but Martin now always ends up asking if they mean it or just trying to be polite.

As for OC, although Martin is unknown primary they have a strong feeling it was in the tonsil. Cancer of the tonsil, it had never ocurred to me it could be there. But I suppose you can get cancer of everything, even cancer of the back of the knee (a colleague's niece got that).

I assume by your post that they never found SCC in his tonsils?

When they did the ND did they ever find SCC?

Was he ever tested for HPV?

They dug in deep in the tonsil and cut away a bit at the back base of the tongue and they found a mass and were convinced they had got it. Then 2 days later, "oops sorry no we didn't get it it was a fibrous lump". The consutlant reckons Martin's immune system tried to fight off the cancer and kill it and over did it a bit hence the lump in the tonsil. But they are just guessing really.
When they did the ND they looked everywhere under the big neck/shoulder muscle, and they analysed all of the nodes they took out (12) and only the one had cancer cells.
As far as I am aware he wasn't tested for HPV. I know they tested him several times for MRSA which is in a lot of hospitals here and did a lot of chemical tests to see if his chemical balance was ok, as well as kidney, liver and aneamia tests.

I was just thinking about what I read earlier on HPV. I presume they would have tested the tonsil, I will ask at Martin's next appointment, I am going this time because it seems Martin doesn't get many answers.
Martin used to smoke and drink but only together, he would only smoke when he had a drink in the pub, then when snoking was banned in pubs he would only have on cigarette outisde. Now he doesn't smoke and I think we must have been in the pub 3 times since the treatment, only because his friends insist.
I think he is probably of the smoking and drinking related cancer (although he wasn't a heavy drinker and only drank beer which apparently is less bad then spirits or wine)

I think everyone has stories like this. Two come to mind; one when I was still recovering from surgery and halfway through radiation. I was in a mall, in a wheelchair, my leg and arm still bandaged from toe to hip and wrist to shoulder respectively, my "railroad track" scars allover my face and neck, with the added bonus of having lost half the hair on my head, including half of my moustache.
A little girl walking by said to her Mom "look, Mommy, a Monster!"
Mom was mortified, did not know what to say or do. I told the young lady I had had an operation, and I really wasn't a monster, she said "oh, O.K." and they walked away with her explaining to her Mom that I wasn't a monster, that I'd had an operation.
The second was this January, in San Diego. We went on a tour of the Midway, and one of the docente's ( a retired Navy aviator) came up and asked where I'd served, and how I was wounded. ( I'm a Canadian, never did military service) When I explained my scars to him, he didn't apologize, or say anything patronizing. He shook my hand and told me that by the looks of it, I'd fought a tougher battle than he had, and he'd flown combat missions in three wars.
Funny thing is; I didn't find either offensive. I did find it offensive when people would avoid looking at me during the worst of my treatment, pretending that I wasn't there. THAT bugged me, a lot
Wayne