Hi Meg -

I'm so sorry about your mom....it's a tough decision no matter which direction you choose. My husband had stage IV squamous cell in his tongue, floor of mouth, and jawbone, and died last month following a lot of treatment that was agonizing for him, but he wanted to give it every possible shot he could. He had the feeding tube, all recommended treatment, and followed all of the protocol except that none of it worked. As others have said, it is very aggressive stuff, and if left untreated, it will rapidly spread into the surrounding tissue. My husband's spread from the original areas into the face and neck areas, and he was gone within 8 weeks. And yes, that last 8 weeks was painful for both him and me. I had posted a question under the "introduce yourself" section around the third week of March of this year that details some of the things we went through, so if you're interested, you may want to look there. Or, you can send me a 'private message' and I can tell you what it was like for my husband. There's a lot that doctors don't tell you about, or if they do, it's very general.

Bless your heart, Meg, I'll be thinking about you.

Judy

Hi and welcome Meg,
I'm sorry you have received some harsh answers to your post. I, in no way, judge you or your Mom for her decision. I am glad that she has you to stand beside her at this time in her life. Please just make sure that she will have adequate pain control, as the cancer spreads she will surely need it. My husband is 56, I am "only" 48, but I can tell you that he has already done things in his pursuit of life that I would not have done. There is such a thing as quality vs. quantity. Don't get me wrong, I will stand beside my husband every step of the way, and I am thankful for every day that he is still here. This is a horrible disease and there is no "right" answer for anyone. I wish your family peace and understanding.
Lori

I agree with Lori-

Everyone has the right to thier own decision- espcially when the cancer is very advanced. Please make sure she is comfortable and feels supported and loved by her family and friends whatever her ultimate decision is. It is important that she feel at peace and calm and as comfortable as possible.

I am so very sorry that your family is dealing with this disease.

My thoughts and prayers are with you. KATE

Hi Meg,
The title of the thread by Paul R. is 'Refused All Treatment'. Paul's mom's health was not good and she probably could not have tolerated the treatment. She survived over a year and had quality time to spend with her children before the disease took her life. While every case is different, it should give you an idea of what to expect.

Take care,
Eileen