Sweetpea that is so very true. I know a guy in Steubenville that has been living with htis garbage for at least 15 yrs. His brother , that I didn't know had it just died from it a couple of weeks ago. I know it couldn't have been very long but it's possible.

Dear Patty,
I'm so sorry to hear the news. My husband is also in your shoes at this point. We start Erbitux on Thursday. I will be praying for you and your sister.
Lori

Patty, how are you doing? Hope you are feeling stronger. Hows the doggies?

Here the weather has finally turned to springtime. Hope its a nice sunny day where you are.

Patty...always thinking of you. Please let us know how you are when you feel up to it.

love...suzanne

I am so saddened by what you are going through and understand that you will only post when you are up to it Patty.
Will be looking out when you do here and on Facebook.
Love and prayers
Gabriele

Guys I am getting some strength back and getting most of the "have to" stuff out of the way so I can relax. Right now I don't know where I belong on the forums so please point me there if I am not in the right place.

My family other than my sister who has agreed to be my caregiver is driving me over the edge with their total disregard for me or what I want. They think it is ok to just come over even if I said I would not like company today. I am not sure what to do with this mess. I am considering the cannon upstairs and we'll see who can make it down the 1/4 mile driveway at this point - LOL - they are so selfish. Mom's only concern so far - no she has not asked how I feel yet - is the will and what will happen to my house. I always knew that I was dealing with a mother that was not quite right - but I am seeing some true colors here that are just shocking me.

I plan to ask for some professional guidance to be able to deal with this because they are just trying to walk all over me now and I am still pretty dog gone healthy. It is as if what I put in writing does not mean a thing to them. Poor Carolyn will have to deal with this mess - there has to be a way to fix this now.

Anyway I feel better since I vented -

I weigh 93.8 lbs today - up from 91.7 on Monday. I am getting about 4 cans of Jevity in per day and today I did the Cinch/Nutrocalorie 650 cal shake also. It is the first dairy I was able to keep down so now we will work in the Carnation.
Lots of poison coming out of the lower abscess so that is good. And I am sleeping, but not constantly.

Talk with you all soon. Love Patty

Patty I have no idea how to answer your post and will leave it to others here who are better at putting their thoughts in to words. Having said that I understand some of your frustrations and only hope that things get a little easier for you.
If venting here makes you feel better....continue doing so whenever you need to which if I were in your place would be often.
Love
Gabriele

Hi Patty
The hardest job of a chief caregiver is also making sure that family and friends understand and abide by the wishes of the one person who matters,that of course is you and in my case it was rob.
He went through a spell where he didn't want to see anyone ,he didn't want to spaek to anyone,he wouldn't answer the phone and i had to stand between him and all the misguided folk who thought they knew better what he wanted and needed.This sort of news brings out the best and the worst,and certainly sorts out the true friends from the ambulance chasers who seem to thrive on other peoples dramas.As for families there was never a truer phrase penned than "you can choose your friends but you can't choose your family"I hope your sister has a thick skin and a firm voice because she will need it.

This is your time Patty and how you spend it is up to you and no one else.Don't bow to peer prerssure about what you should do because no one has the right to tell you how to behave as they have NO idea how you feel,or what you want,but it will be up to your sister to make sure they know.
Rob wanted to say goodbye while he was at home and then come to yorkshire and die with JUST me.His family accepted he wanted to come here but then said we will come and visit at weekends and hsi sister wanted to come and stay.They just didnt get it.As it happened that didn't happen and we didn't get into a confrontation,but we would have done because he didn't want them turning up.Once he was in the hospice evrything changed and because he was pain free and relaxed he entertyained for england and was very happy to do so.
As for legal matters,he asked to get a lawyer come to the house,which i did and i left him alone while he gave her his instructions.He said he wanted me to be his executor which i declined as i felt it was best to leave everything to an independant leagal team who had nothing to gain and couldn't be accused of trying to influence his wishes.

Ultimately patty its your life and its your choice how it comes to a close.Tell the vultures to stuff off and let you do it your own way.

love liz

Hi Patty,

I'm so sorry your family is not listening to your wishes. Can your sister say something to them? That sounds so frustrating.

Glad to hear you were able to put on some weight...that is good news!!! It's nice to hear from you and I am thinking of you.

Hi Patty,
I am so sorry about your recurrence and your family situation. I was my mom's caregiver when she had pancreatic cancer, and I ended up having to put a sign on her door saying "Not feeling well today. No visitors please". Then just lock the door and don't worry about it. YOU come first. Carolyn will have to be your advocate. You can't stress yourself out, she can deal with the family. You are right when you say that Ron and you seem to be in the same place. Just remember, you are not alone. We are thinking of you constantly. Please take care.
Lori