| | Joined: Jun 2007 Posts: 5,260 Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) |  Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
Joined: Jun 2007 Posts: 5,260 | It's my turn to chime in here.. Why would ny of us feel funny ging out in public?? We are alive and kicking. THey can look at me all they want and it it is a stare or I think it is. I am going to walk over to them and let them know what I have been thru and am still going thru. We have done nothing to be ashamed of except gotten Oral Cancer. That is just part of lifes happenings and thta maybe they will look like this a few weeks or montrhs from now. I'm proud to be able to still run my mouth and if they don't want to listen, they can turn and walk away. Be Proud and not ashamed. If someone looks don their nose at you, it has to be becus their nose is too damn long to see the end of it.
Since posting this. UPMC, Pittsburgh, Oct 2011 until Jan. I averaged about 2 to 3 surgeries a week there. w Can't have jaw made as bone is deteroriating steaily that is left in jaw. Mersa is to blame. Feeding tube . Had trach for 4mos. Got it out April.
--- Passed away 5/14/14, will be greatly missed by everyone here
| | | | | Joined: Sep 2006 Posts: 8,311 Senior Patient Advocate Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | | Senior Patient Advocate Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
Joined: Sep 2006 Posts: 8,311 | There have always been those, me included, that took a glance when someone looked different and there probably always will be. Staying out of sight won't change that. There will also be those that are very insensitive and unfortunately we can't get rid of them. All of this is just part of what we call human nature. We are told early on that we need to be handsome or beautiful so I think it's normal for all of us to feel inadequate even those of us that didn't have surgery. An entire profession was created just to keep old age at bay.
You had to have a surgery that altered your outward appearance to save your life. Please don't let it alter your inner person. Few people have had to face death and go through what you did to beat it back and for that you should wear a Badge of Courage. Few people know the feelings that you carry now that you more fully appreciate what it means to be alive. Take all the time you need to adjust and talk to professionals if need be but let the feeling of pride shine through and all around you will feel it.
David
Age 58 at Dx, HPV16+ SCC, Stage IV BOT+2 nodes, non smoker, casual drinker, exercise nut, Cisplatin x 3 & concurrent IMRT x 35,(70 Gy), no surgery, no Peg, Tx at Moffitt over Aug 06. Jun 07, back to riding my bike 100 miles a wk. Now doing 12 Spin classes and 60 outdoor miles per wk. Nov 13 completed Hilly Century ride for Cancer, 104 miles, 1st Place in my age group. Apr 2014 & 15, Spun for 9 straight hrs to raise $$ for YMCA's Livestrong Program. Certified Spin Instructor Jun 2014.
| | | | | Joined: Dec 2008 Posts: 1,004 Patient Advocate (1000+ posts) | | Patient Advocate (1000+ posts)
Joined: Dec 2008 Posts: 1,004 | Eric, I don't think anyone could think you are weak. You are going through a very hard time right now. Most people take pride in how they look so your feelings are completley understandable. I hope by knowing you have support and understanding here it will help you through this change.
I started seeing a therapist after my diagnosis and found it to be very helpful. Have you tried anything like that?
Suzanne
***********
T1 SCC on right side of tongue
Age 31...27 when diagnosed
4 partial glossectomies
No chemo or radiation
Biopsy on 2/2/10-Clear
Surgery needed again...no later than April 2011
Loving life and just became a mother on 11/25/10
It's not what we CAN'T do..it's what we CAN do:)
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