David, That sounds like something out of the Catch-22 novel. One of my favorite books.

Uncle Vern, I saw your GF and I almost fell on the floor when I saw the light bulb trick...I knew what it was going to be...but, I didn't realize you were going to look like Uncle Fester! LOL

And where the heck were you taking that camper? That looked like suicide...

The motorhome was on a one-way trip to the bottom of a canyon in the Cascade Mountains, trust me, diging that road with a chemo port in was LOTS of no fun. Wasn't so good on the motor home either, the trees pretty much ate all the doors and stuff as we squeezed it between them. as it turns out, quite an accomplishment for myself and the other cancer survivor ( 70 years old ). But, if we had lost that motorhome down the canyon, well lets just say, Um St St Stupid is, um as stupid does... [{:-)
We still need to build something over the top of it to keep it from being crushed under snow.
A year before that, and the day after getting the port put in, I wound up stranded up there on a "quick trip", I had to hike in for shelter and hike back out the next day. The Doctors were fine with that, but the nurses were spitting nails! LOL
More on that trip later.

Ok I like uncle Vern. I think that the motor home should become our "camp" (I'll help with that snow roof) and Damn the light bulb is funny!

I was asked by a neighbor (happens to be a doc) to fix a light in his garage. (really not that tough) I had the light hanging by wires when I asked him to go get a pliers. When I heard him coming back I stood with my fingers in the socket and shook like a poplar tree. He looked at me and nearly fell over. Docs are really way too serious.....

Ah Vern, loved the pictures and the stories! Keep 'em coming, as humor and coping is how we all get through this. It's a goofy kind of humor, and just what I needed tonight.
I'll be looking for more of your posts, and wish you well in your own journey.

Great pictures. The light bulb is funny. To me, even funnier is the visit from the psych doc cuz of Ivy. What a beauty she is!!! Sometimes the staff take things the wrong way and with no sense of humor.

You are just what I need too Vern. Your stories and your photos are very funny and thank Pete D for asking about the light bulb!!

Patty

It is my pleasure to give a smile. So I will write these until someone says stop. The server admin should feel free to ask me to publish somewhere else if they see the need.

Hey Lady! Do you sell Spit?:

There are things that doctors tell you, but you don�t really understand the meaning. Well, that was the case with cancer treatments resulting in my lack of saliva production. That didn�t seem like a big deal at the time, but it really is a problem.

A couple of weeks ago, I am picking up my car from some repairs and decide to make a pass through town to do long overdue errands, despite the bad clothes, messed up hair, 5 days worth of stubble and a little car grime.

Going into the only store that will carry my �saliva substitute� I find a line at the pharmacy that extends the width and length of the store and the young lady at the cash register is snarling. So I circle the store, impulse buy and scare the hell out of other shoppers with my appearance.

Finally, the line is gone and I step up to the counter. The young girl at the cash register doesn�t look up as she barks �can I help you?� Just grunting I continue to empty my hands, giving her time enough to be irritated and truly focus her attention on me. Perfect!

Babbling and acting nervous, like a 14 year old trying to buy condoms, I finally ask her �Ummm, I was wondering, umm� do you sell spit?� Speechless, she crosses her arms and scowls at me. The pharmacist looks up from his tasks, worried about what kind of old NUT he has at the front counter.

Giving a full 5 count, I apologize, pointing at the shelf where my order is at telling her that it�s really called saliva substitute and it�s...

Rattled, she goes the other way, barking something about not having it and that I would have to special order something like that. Again I point at the order and try to tell her I HAD actually ordered it � as she cuts me off, INSISTING that it has to be a special order. I point at the shelf and started to speak as � she cuts me off again.

Finally the irritated pharmacist walks around to the counter, grabs the two boxes and hands them to her. She marches up to the cash register and starts to scan them in, stating rather indignantly that �she wasn�t sure that�s what it was called� HA! I got her again, saying: �What? The brand name spit? Nobody would buy THAT!�

I start to explain to her that I can�t get pharmacies to take this matter seriously; they either laugh and walk off or refuse to carry it for long because they can�t make any money on it and ask her to order it ahead for me. Still irritated, she proclaims that she does not understand what the big deal is and I can just order more when I run out.

The pharmacist bounds forward, eager to demonstrate some customer service to his trainee, telling me he takes this seriously, explains to her that I can't ever run out and asks me if I had ever tried eye drops. Now I have to wonder if I am about to get �the business� back for a change right? No, he is suggesting that I use medicated eye drops in my mouth to gain better control than with the drugs I am using.

The young girl�s eyes widen as the pharmacist and I banter at the level of any two medical professionals. Suddenly that greasy, homeless looking �hillbilly� went from wiping snot on his sleeve and yelling �hey lady, du u sell spit?� to a needy and intelligent customer. She put on her coat and started to leave as I shouted behind her �hey lady, do u sell spit?, leaving me to laugh about this one for days and wonder if the message I was sending her sank in.
Next time, I wear a suit eh?
Work retail? If you see me coming, RUN!

I LOVE YOU--you make my day.
Thank you so much for readings that chuckle my mind, and make me laugh, and yet are so "right on" about the "sir-VICE" industry.
Me, I doubt I'd have been so nice. Ever.
Also very nice to have a picture to go with the message, Vern...
You might go over and provide some much-needed lifts in the blog section, tho', where others can enjoy it as much as I.

Ah,
Thanks for the suggestion Elin.
Being a newbie here I hadn't seen the blog section.

Starting at the blog entry "Attitude, Humor and Fun, Fight Back!" I am going to try to post what I can remember in a time line. Others, including educators and the staff at a chat system I help manage have asked me to publish.
Finding the OCF forums an inspiration, and the return of some energy seems to have me writing again. Compiling the materials I have already done and filling in the gaps will take a bit of time and effort, but well worth it for my own sake.

Once complete, the same material will eventually be posted at http://www.uncleverns.blogspot.com/

Lets have some fun with this, I would love to read humorous accounts from others here. Certainly I can't be the only wild eyed NUT out there. I hope never to offend and offer to withdraw anything not well recieved.

UncleVern

Uncle Vern ( I actually had an uncle Vern) Anyway, you are a real "toot". Keep em coming ! LOL