Hello, My name is Emma & my husband has oral cancer that has migrated to his cheek. He also has Alzheimer's and we have chosen no treatment. He is 77.
I look forward to reading others posts of their experiences with this type of cancer as time allows.
Best wished to each & every one of you.

What about pain/disease management? Something to make sure it doesn't get out of control and make a bad situation worse. I understand why one would say, "No, I'm not going through that procedure because.." for whatever reason. But to do nothing just hits me in the gut. A friends mother had terminal lung cancer and she did chemo to alleviate pain, my GF's father did the same thing. Some treatments typically used for cures can be utilized in other ways for different outcomes.

Oops..How rude of me...to do nothing caught me off guard.

Welcome to OCF and I'm sorry for your husbands situation. I want to wish you and your husband the best that is available.

My prayers and thoughts are with you

I understand how you see it that "doing nothing" does sound like sticking your head in the sand. Although my husb has Alzheimer's he was still able to understand enough to make an informed decision. He had filled out an advanced directive several years before and his decision after diagnosis was the same as it was prior.
Alzheimer's is such a terriable way to die, as cancer can be also. Had the choice been up to me I would have made the same choice he did. There are also other health issues at play also. Life is precious but quality of life needed to be a consideration for us as well.
Had he opted for surgery it would have required removal of half of his face including an eye and that would only slow the process. Also the subsequent treatments would have required three weekly 100 mile trips for eight weeks and physically that would have been too much for him also. For all we have family in that area, putting him in unfamilar surroundings would play havoc with his alzheimer's. His age is also a factor. I feel he made the correct decision for his situation.

Thank you. All prayers are much appreciated.

Have you contacted Hospice? I would contact them immediately in order to make this situation as smooth as possible. They can and do help tremendously. i cannot say enough good things about them.

I'm sorry to hear about your husband. We each have to decide what's best for us. Check into Hospice as they can make this journey much better for all.

Thank you for your posts. We are already set up with Hospice. The nurse comes in weekly and is great as are the aids as well.
Thankfully my son lives next door & is so willing to give me breaks. My stepdaughter (his daughter) calls often and frequently comes for a week or two at a time for all she lives several states away. In fact she will arrive tomorrow for a weeks stay.
The tumor on his face (started inside mouth) has grown quite a bit and seems to be headed for the back of his neck. He now has several lumps beneath his full beard that appear to be draining a bit. My biggest fear is of him having a bleed out and not being able to control it. Drainage I can deal with. When he was first diagnoised in early Aug we were told that this type of cancer generally migrates upward and would likely go to the brain.
This has been a bad year for me. I lost my oldest brother to lung cancer in Feb. and another brother to brain cancer in April.
I am so glad that I tunned 62 and was able to retire to make his last months as comfortable as possible. Gotta look for those silver lingings.

Emma,

There are a few here that have been through exactly what you face and I hope that they will respond to you. I will thry to contact them if you wish.

Emma,

You are in my thoughts....I'm happy you are able to be with your husband and you don't have to go to work. I bet he's happy you are there:)

Good luck to you,
Suzanne