#80468 09-15-2008 05:56 PM | Joined: Sep 2007 Posts: 32 Contributing Member (25+ posts) | OP  Contributing Member (25+ posts)
Joined: Sep 2007 Posts: 32 | I turned to this site many times in the past year for information . . .
I turned to you scared out of my mind and you comforted my, supported me and calmed me
I turned to you all for advice, support and prayers . . . you were always there . . .
What you have given to my Dad and myself will always be invaluable and precious to me . . .
My Dad passed away yesterday in his home with myself and my Stepmom by his side.
Courageously battling his oral cancer for a whole year . . .he was cancer free for only 5 months and it returned to his neck/shoulder area, deemed inoperable. His one attempt at re radiation and chemo landed him in the hospital for severe dehydration and a serious infection in the wound that cancer caused . . .
We told him it was finally time to let go, the Drs. could not believe how fast it was moving and nothing could be done. His pain was excruciating. So courageously, he chose to come home to the home and family that he dearly loved and let God decide.
I only two short weeks, His family, his friends, all came by to laugh and talk one last time and for a brief time he slipped into sleep and passed away in such peace. I myself held open the door to let his spirit and soul fly free. As I walked down to his garden (the vegetable garden that was always his love and joy) I felt such happiness and comfort for him. And I swear he was with me in the garden and I knew all was okay.
Today, I grieve for a man that I was lost touch with during the middle of my life. A man that found it so hard to say I love you, (but I knew he did) a man that seemed to stay in the background for a lot of my life until I had children. Right before my daughter was born, my Dad retired and drove one hour each way to my house 2 - 3 times a week to watch his grandchildren grow. For 9 years he shared every joy that I did with my children. He taught me how to grow a garden, taught me to sit down and have a cup of coffee and just talk about life, told me family stories. The day my son started kindergarten last year was the day he found out he has cancer. And for this year I drove him to every dr appointment, hospital, chemo/radiation. We told each other we loved each other everyday . . . he told me if only one good thing was to come out of this cancer was that we had found each other. He was my Dad, my friend and now my guardian angel. As I watched him leave this earth I told him to fly to the angels (which he was seeing days before he died). Rest in Peace my Dear, Dear Dad. And to all of you I wish you hope, strength and peace and my prayers will be with you.
I will never forget you.
Love,
Laura
Mandibular ressection, flap replacement and bilateral neck dissection 10/25/07. Two nodes cancerous, others clear.
Started IRMT 12/17/07 (34) and ERBITUX ( 6). 7/17/08 cancer returned neck and shoulder area. Passed on peacefully surrounded by love on 9/15/08. And yes, he did see angels. . .
| | | | | Joined: Jan 2008 Posts: 706 "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts) | | "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts)
Joined: Jan 2008 Posts: 706 | Laura-My deepest sympathy. I too believe that some good can come out of cancer when you finally realize what and who are important. I'm so glad you got to spend good time with your dad. Let those memories console you during this time.
Sue
cg to husband, 48 Stage 1V head and neck SCC. First surgery 9/07. Radiation and several rounds of chemo followed. Mets to chest and lungs. "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain." Went home to God on February 22, 2009.
| | | | | Joined: Sep 2007 Posts: 32 Contributing Member (25+ posts) | | OP Contributing Member (25+ posts)
Joined: Sep 2007 Posts: 32 | Thank you Sue. I know how difficult it is to be a cg and I honor you. I wish your husband all the best. My prayers are with you.
Laura
Mandibular ressection, flap replacement and bilateral neck dissection 10/25/07. Two nodes cancerous, others clear.
Started IRMT 12/17/07 (34) and ERBITUX ( 6). 7/17/08 cancer returned neck and shoulder area. Passed on peacefully surrounded by love on 9/15/08. And yes, he did see angels. . .
| | | | | Joined: Jun 2007 Posts: 221 Gold Member (200+ posts) | | Gold Member (200+ posts)
Joined: Jun 2007 Posts: 221 | Laura,
You have my heartfelt sympathy.
Love,
Joy
CG to Father, 75 yo with SCC of the mouth; upper maxillectomy and neck diss. performed on 5/23/07. Father also suffered heart attack during surgery and now has CHF. RT complete on 8/28/07. Cancer back 11/27/07. RT and Chemo to start on 12/17. Cancer back 6/17/08. Finally at rest 08/08/08.
| | | | | Joined: Jun 2007 Posts: 10,507 Likes: 7 Administrator, Director of Patient Support Services Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | | Administrator, Director of Patient Support Services Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
Joined: Jun 2007 Posts: 10,507 Likes: 7 |
Laura:
Im so sorry for your loss. Your father was lucky to have you by his side, Im sure he was grateful for that. May your family find comfort in the good memories you shared.
ChristineSCC 6/15/07 L chk & by L molar both Stag I, age44 2x cispltn-35 IMRT end 9/27/07 -65 lbs in 2 mo, no caregvr Clear PET 1/08 4/4/08 recur L chk Stag I surg 4/16/08 clr marg 215 HBO dives 3/09 teeth out, trismus 7/2/09 recur, Stg IV 8/24/09 trach, ND, mandiblctmy 3wks medicly inducd coma 2 mo xtended hospital stay, ICU & burn unit PICC line IV antibx 8 mo 10/4/10, 2/14/11 reconst surg OC 3x in 3 years very happy to be alive  | | | | | Joined: Sep 2007 Posts: 32 Contributing Member (25+ posts) | | OP Contributing Member (25+ posts)
Joined: Sep 2007 Posts: 32 | Oh, Joy . . .I am so so sorry about your Dad also. I have not been back to OCF until tonight so I did not know . . .
I know that you find as much peace and comfort for him as I do for my Dad. I cry for you because I know how you must feel. Take care of yourself, Joy and keep in touch.
Love,
Laura
Mandibular ressection, flap replacement and bilateral neck dissection 10/25/07. Two nodes cancerous, others clear.
Started IRMT 12/17/07 (34) and ERBITUX ( 6). 7/17/08 cancer returned neck and shoulder area. Passed on peacefully surrounded by love on 9/15/08. And yes, he did see angels. . .
| | | | | Joined: Jun 2007 Posts: 221 Gold Member (200+ posts) | | Gold Member (200+ posts)
Joined: Jun 2007 Posts: 221 |
CG to Father, 75 yo with SCC of the mouth; upper maxillectomy and neck diss. performed on 5/23/07. Father also suffered heart attack during surgery and now has CHF. RT complete on 8/28/07. Cancer back 11/27/07. RT and Chemo to start on 12/17. Cancer back 6/17/08. Finally at rest 08/08/08.
| | | | | Joined: Apr 2005 Posts: 2,219 Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | | Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
Joined: Apr 2005 Posts: 2,219 | Laura,
I am so sorry to hear that your dad has lost his courageous battle.
I wish it had worked out that I could have met him.
He was lucky to have you as his caregiver and I know he knew that.
Please extend my condolences to your family.
Jerry
Jerry
Retired Dentist, 59 years old at diagnosis. SCC of the left lateral border of the tongue (Stage I). Partial glossectomy and 30 nodes removed, 4/6/05. Nodes all clear. No chemo no radiation 18 year survivor.
"Whatever doesn't kill me, makes me stronger"
| | | | | Joined: Apr 2006 Posts: 583 "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts) | | "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts)
Joined: Apr 2006 Posts: 583 | Laura,
What a beautiful post about you and your DAD. So sorry for your loss, But happy you both had rekindled your life together for the time you did get to share.
Take care, and drop in now and then..
Diane
2004 SCC R.tip 1/4 tongue Oct. 2005 R. Neck SCC cancer/Chemo Cisplatin 2x/8wks. Rad. Removed Jugular vein, Lymph gland & some neck muscle. TX finished 1/20/06... B.Cancer 3/29/07 Finished 6/07 Bi-op 7/15/09 SCC in-situ, laser surgery removed from 1st. sight. Right jaw replacement 11/3/14. 9 yrs cancer free as of Jan. 2015
| | | | | Joined: Sep 2007 Posts: 32 Contributing Member (25+ posts) | | OP Contributing Member (25+ posts)
Joined: Sep 2007 Posts: 32 | Oh, Jerry. I will always be grateful for your kind emails and words of encouragement. I never dreamed this was going to happen so soon and so fast. I always told him about your messages. I am sorry you did not meet him too, he was a good man.
It was my honor to care for him and I would have not changed a thing. I am left now to make something good out of all of this . . .
keep in touch.
Love,
Laura
Mandibular ressection, flap replacement and bilateral neck dissection 10/25/07. Two nodes cancerous, others clear.
Started IRMT 12/17/07 (34) and ERBITUX ( 6). 7/17/08 cancer returned neck and shoulder area. Passed on peacefully surrounded by love on 9/15/08. And yes, he did see angels. . .
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