Exactly one week and one day ago I finished my 39th and final radiation. During this time I had 3 cisplatin sessions and 3 Erbitux sessions.
I haven't posted on the site much since I didn't react well to the treatment and much time has been spent at the hospital where I was admitted four different occassions. I thought I'd be happier that the everyday visits to the hospital are over but now comes the real challenge. It is hard to accept everything and see the learning of it. It is there somewhere inside me. I have to go back in six weeks for a neck dissection of the lymph nodes. Brian, I read your story, remarkable what you've done. The site is encouraging and nervewrecking at the same time. Reading other people's cancer battles makes me nervous, hopeful, fearful, fearless . . so many things to expect so many bridges to cross. Thank you for being here along the way.

Hi Edgar,

I too had my neck disection 6 weeks after finishing treatment. I am now one year & five months out of the operation and doing well. The worst part for you is over. the disection was not bad, at least not for me. Now you must concentrate on getting stronger and healing. Your neck will be smaller when they are done, and it will be stiff. I have found that exercise has helped me immensley since my treatment. Walk if you can or ride a stationary bike for a while. The more you exercise, the stronger your body will get and the better you will feel. At least that what has worked for me.

Good luck and I hope your operation goes well. We are all here for you.

Steve

Hi Edgar-
My own cancer diagnosis/treatment journey has been THE most difficult episode in my entire life (I'm 60 years old). On every level, physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually it's sometimes too much to bear. Sometimes it's as though I'm trapped in a hell from which there is no escape. Other times, I feel more positive and am able to keep this in perspective and understand it WILL get better over time, that my prognosis is probably good. Then along will come the fear again, and I find myself angry and resentful and self pitying.

I personally have not yet found the sense in all this. I'm just 6 weeks out from the last radiation treatment and am not eating ANYTHING. Living on Ensure and some weight gain stuff I got at the health food store.

I come to this forum for strength and inspiration from those who have gone before me.

Riley

Hi Edgar - it's wonderful that you have now completed chemo and radiation. If your experience is like my husband John's, in a few months it will hard to remember how really difficult the treatment was at times.

I wanted to share that John had some tough weeks after treatment. He was not too bad the first week or two after he finished but then had the mucous and other symptoms come on strong again for a couple of weeks.

This may not happen to you - everyone seems to have different types of reactions - but just wanted to let you know that our doctor said it was the pattern of healing for some people. If we'd known that at the time we wouldn't have been so frightened. Hope it's not a downer to mention it.

As Steve said in the above post, the more moderate exercise John did in the first few months especially, the stronger and more positive he felt.

all the best
Mary

Edgar,

Congratulations on completing such an important milestone in your journey. Stop and enjoy the moment as the journey is measured by such small steps along the way.

What you are experiencing right now is pretty much on course. There is such a flurry of activity up to the day of your last treatment then everything comes to a standstill. The silence can not only be deafening but it gives you so much time to just sit and play the "what-if" game. Focus on the accomplishment at reaching this point, keep busy if you can and learn all you can so the unknowns won't become your worst enemy. The road ahead is very rough but well-traveled. Ask anyone anything and your peaks and valleys will only be small bumps along the way.

Hang in there because it won't improve overnight.

Warm wishes,

Ed