| | Joined: Feb 2008 Posts: 341 Platinum Member (300+ posts) |  Platinum Member (300+ posts)
Joined: Feb 2008 Posts: 341 | Oh Colleen - sending warm thoughts and hugs and prayers to you and your family!
Michelle, CG to husband (45), DX 2/08 Stage IVa Adenocarcinoma Salivary Gland (T2N2bMO)
Parotidectomy & ND 2/08, Tumor margins not clear, 4 of 30 nodes positve for cancer,
TX IMRT 39x, cisplatin 7x (completed 5/1/08),
PEG (4/22 - 7/9), No port. Currently in remission!
| | | | | Joined: Mar 2008 Posts: 23 Member | | OP Member
Joined: Mar 2008 Posts: 23 | Good morning everyone.
I'm sad and heartbroken. My brother passed away Thursday, June 5. My brothers, sister and I had a lovely day with him on Monday, June 2. On Tuesday morning we received a phone call from the hospital to hurry on up there, they had found my brother unresponsive and were doing CPR on him. He had had some trouble with gagging on his phlegm, and couldn't seem to get behind it. Turns out he aspirated his vomit. They could not tell us how long he had been without oxygen, but it took them 20 minutes to resuscitate him. He went into a deep coma and when they took brain scans, there was no activity. The decision was made to halt any further treatment to keep him alive, and he passed quietly and in no pain.
Thanks to everyone on this board for your support and good advice. I wish he had been seen at Sloan Kettering from the very beginning, however, my sister-in-law kept cancelling all the appointments that were made for him. I'm not sure why, other than to say it was an inconvenient location for her. She and our family have never gotten along well, and it is sad for my brother that she was the one making the decisions, as his wife, and we were discounted in everything, right through the funeral.
My brother provided for her very well, and has left quite a legacy for her. On the Saturday prior to our visit on Monday, my brother was told by his doctor that he was terminal and would not survive. Oddly, that was the time that my sister-in-law chose to go back to work (she had been on FMLA leave). Monday after our visit, he begged her to stay the night with him. She was the only one allowed to do that as his spouse. She refused and went home, saying that she had to be at work the next day. This job was something to give her some pocket money, it did not pay the bills. Of course, Tuesday morning was his big crash, and I just can't help feel that it could have been a better outcome had she been there. She said as much at his bedside in the ICU in the moments right before his death. I hope she regrets that decision for the rest of her life. I know I will.
Had to vent a little of my anger at her. Thank God I don't have to have any further dealings with her (at least not in person), and that she will be out of my life forever.
Again, for anyone reading this, don't wait. Go to see your doctor at the first sign of ANYTHING. It could mean the difference of whether you live or die.
Thanks everyone, and God bless.
CG to Brother - 56 yrs - DX 3/17/2008 - SCC mouth, nodes and lungs.
T4N2M1 Taxotrene (1X), Cisplatin (4x) 5FU (4x)
Tx began 4/10/08 - told 5/28/08 time for hospice - he passed on June 5, 2008.
| | | | | Joined: Sep 2007 Posts: 79 Senior Member (75+ posts) | | Senior Member (75+ posts)
Joined: Sep 2007 Posts: 79 | Colleen,
I am so sorry for your loss. I am sure that your brother knew the depth of your love for him. You and your family are in my prayers.
Jean
* Root for Joe *
Sister of Joe (43, non-smoker/chewer; occ. drinker). Mouth problem 3/07. Diag with Stage I 6/07. Diag with Stage IV 9/07. In EPOC at Univ of Chicago. Cisplatin/cetuximab 1/wk x 8. Then, IMRT 5x/wk x 7 and weekly chemo. Done 12/21/07. Looks good as of 4/08, 7/08, 8/08, 1/09.
| | | | | Joined: Feb 2007 Posts: 1,940 "OCF across the pond" Patient Advocate (1000+ posts) | | "OCF across the pond" Patient Advocate (1000+ posts)
Joined: Feb 2007 Posts: 1,940 | Colleen i am sorry for your loss.Dont waste your emotions on anger,just try to remember the good times.
god bless
liz
Liz in the UK
Husband Robin aged 44 years Dx 8th Dec 2006 poorly differentiated SCC tongue with met to neck T1N2cM0 Surgery and Radiation.Finished TX April 2007
Recurrence June/07 died July 29th/07.
Never take your eye off the ball, it may just smack you in the mouth.
| | | | | Joined: May 2008 Posts: 551 "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts) | | "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts)
Joined: May 2008 Posts: 551 | Colleen,
I am also so sorry for your loss. I imagine you are going through a whole range of emotions right now, grief, anger, sadness, guilt - I know I did when my own brother died in an automobile accident. For me, it did get easier, but its been 14 years, and I still miss him terribly.
All my best to you and to your family.
Margaret
Stage IV SCC lt lateral tongue, surgery 5/19/08 (partial gloss/upper neck dissection left side/radial free flap reconstruction) IMRT w/weekly Cisplatin & Erbitux 6/30/08, PEG 1 6/12/08 - out 7/14 (in abdominal wall, not stomach), PEG 2 7/23/08 - out 11/20/08, Tx done 8/18/08
Second SCC tumor, Stage 1, rt mobile tongue, removed 10/18/2016, right neck dissection 12/9/2016
Third SCC tumor, diagnosed, 4/19/2108, rt submandibular mass, HPV-, IMRT w/ weekly Cisplatin, 5/9 - 6/25/2018, PEG 3 5/31/2018
| | | | | Joined: Feb 2005 Posts: 2,019 Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | | Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
Joined: Feb 2005 Posts: 2,019 | Colleen, I'm so sorry you lost your brother. You're welcome to vent here as much as you need. I hope eventually both you and your sister-in-law come to a place of peace over your brother's death. I'm sure that's what he would want, isn't it?
Nelie
SCC(T2N0M0) part.glossectomy & neck dissect 2/9/05 & 2/25/05.33 IMRT(66 Gy),2 Cisplatin ended 06/03/05.Stage I breast cancer treated 2/05-11/05.Surgery to remove esophageal stricture 07/06, still having dilatations to keep esophagus open.Dysphagia. "When you're going through hell, keep going"
| | | | | Joined: Jan 2008 Posts: 706 "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts) | | "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts)
Joined: Jan 2008 Posts: 706 | Colleen- I'm so very sorry for your loss.
cg to husband, 48 Stage 1V head and neck SCC. First surgery 9/07. Radiation and several rounds of chemo followed. Mets to chest and lungs. "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain." Went home to God on February 22, 2009.
| | | | | Joined: Sep 2006 Posts: 8,311 Senior Patient Advocate Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | | Senior Patient Advocate Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
Joined: Sep 2006 Posts: 8,311 | Colleen,
I'm sorry for your loss.
David
Age 58 at Dx, HPV16+ SCC, Stage IV BOT+2 nodes, non smoker, casual drinker, exercise nut, Cisplatin x 3 & concurrent IMRT x 35,(70 Gy), no surgery, no Peg, Tx at Moffitt over Aug 06. Jun 07, back to riding my bike 100 miles a wk. Now doing 12 Spin classes and 60 outdoor miles per wk. Nov 13 completed Hilly Century ride for Cancer, 104 miles, 1st Place in my age group. Apr 2014 & 15, Spun for 9 straight hrs to raise $$ for YMCA's Livestrong Program. Certified Spin Instructor Jun 2014.
| | | | | Joined: May 2002 Posts: 2,152 Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | | Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
Joined: May 2002 Posts: 2,152 | Colleen,
I am so sorry your brother lost his fight. I hope your memories of him help you through this difficult time. My deepest sympathies to you and your family.
Take care,
Eileen
----------------------
Aug 1997 unknown primary, Stage III
mets to 1 lymph node in neck; rt ND, 36 XRT rad
Aug 2001 tiny tumor on larynx, Stage I total laryngectomy; left ND
June 5, 2010 dx early stage breast cancer
June 9, 2011 SCC 1.5 cm hypo pharynx, 70% P-16 positive, no mets, Stage I
| | | | | Joined: Jun 2007 Posts: 10,507 Likes: 7 Administrator, Director of Patient Support Services Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | | Administrator, Director of Patient Support Services Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
Joined: Jun 2007 Posts: 10,507 Likes: 7 |
Colleen:
My deepest sympathies to you and your family at this difficult time.
ChristineSCC 6/15/07 L chk & by L molar both Stag I, age44 2x cispltn-35 IMRT end 9/27/07 -65 lbs in 2 mo, no caregvr Clear PET 1/08 4/4/08 recur L chk Stag I surg 4/16/08 clr marg 215 HBO dives 3/09 teeth out, trismus 7/2/09 recur, Stg IV 8/24/09 trach, ND, mandiblctmy 3wks medicly inducd coma 2 mo xtended hospital stay, ICU & burn unit PICC line IV antibx 8 mo 10/4/10, 2/14/11 reconst surg OC 3x in 3 years very happy to be alive  | | |
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