#71336 03-11-2008 02:03 PM | Joined: Jul 2007 Posts: 18 Member | OP  Member
Joined: Jul 2007 Posts: 18 | One month ago today (on February 12) my mother died peacefully in a Hospice facility. She was taken there 4 days earlier when she could no longer be cared for at home basically because she had lost all control below the neck and lost all ability to communicate. My theory is that the cancer spread to her brain, but that's an uneducated guess. As best we can tell, her pain was finally under control those last few days. The people at Hospice were wonderful. I recently read a book that I would like to recommend to anyone who is losing the fight. Deborah Howard, a Hospice nurse, is the author. The title is: Sunsets, Reflections for Life's Final Journey. The final stages of life are explained and many questions answered about end-of-life issues. It's available from Amazon. The book is written from a Christian point of view. I wish I had found this book a few weeks earlier. I would have been more prepared. I must say that the only thing that has gotten me through these last few months is my faith in God. I know that this is not the place to discuss this in detail, but if anyone would like to talk about it, please contact me by e-mail: [email protected]. I'm also very thankful for this website which provided me with so much info when my mom was first diagnosed. Reading the information and reading your stories prepared me to ask the right questions of doctors and offer encouragement and ideas of things to try to my mom. I'm still in the grieving process, but I have the confidence that we did all we could. Many things in life, including death, are just out of our control.
CG to mom (non smoker) during treatment. Dx 7/07 SCC side and base of tongue, Stage 3/4, T4, N1. Refused surgery. Completed tx (41 rads, 8 chemo) 10/07. PET on 1/9/08 showed active cancer. Fought bravely until the end -- 2/12/08.
| | | | | Joined: Jun 2007 Posts: 718 "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts) | | "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts)
Joined: Jun 2007 Posts: 718 | I'm so sorry for the loss or your mom. My condolences to you and your family.
Margaret
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C/G: Husband, 48 (at time of dx)
Dx 5/18/07 SCC, BOT, lymph node involvement. T1N2BM0. (Stage 4a, G2/3)
Tx 6/18 - 8/3/07, IMRT x 33 Cisplatin x3 (stopped after 1st dose due to hearing issues). Weekly Erbitux started 6/27/07 completed 8/6/07.
| | | | | Joined: May 2002 Posts: 2,152 Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | | Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
Joined: May 2002 Posts: 2,152 | My deepest sympathy to you and your family in the loss of your mom. May your fond memories of her ease some of the pain of your loss.
Take care,
Eileen
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Aug 1997 unknown primary, Stage III
mets to 1 lymph node in neck; rt ND, 36 XRT rad
Aug 2001 tiny tumor on larynx, Stage I total laryngectomy; left ND
June 5, 2010 dx early stage breast cancer
June 9, 2011 SCC 1.5 cm hypo pharynx, 70% P-16 positive, no mets, Stage I
| | | | | Joined: Apr 2006 Posts: 583 "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts) | | "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts)
Joined: Apr 2006 Posts: 583 | Sorry to hear of your loss. My prayers are with you and family. Thank you for the recommendation of the book. You take care.
Diane
2004 SCC R.tip 1/4 tongue Oct. 2005 R. Neck SCC cancer/Chemo Cisplatin 2x/8wks. Rad. Removed Jugular vein, Lymph gland & some neck muscle. TX finished 1/20/06... B.Cancer 3/29/07 Finished 6/07 Bi-op 7/15/09 SCC in-situ, laser surgery removed from 1st. sight. Right jaw replacement 11/3/14. 9 yrs cancer free as of Jan. 2015
| | | | | Joined: Dec 2003 Posts: 2,606 Likes: 2 Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | | Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
Joined: Dec 2003 Posts: 2,606 Likes: 2 | I'm really sorry to hear of the loss of your mother. Even when faced with the inevitable, it is never easy to lose someone you lvoe so much. I'm glad to hear your faith is strong. May He provide you with comfort and may each day be a little easier.
Ed
SCC Stage IV, BOT, T2N2bM0
Cisplatin/5FU x 3, 40 days radiation
Diagnosis 07/21/03 tx completed 10/08/03
Post Radiation Lower Motor Neuron Syndrome 3/08.
Cervical Spinal Stenosis 01/11
Cervical Myelitis 09/12
Thoracic Paraplegia 10/12
Dysautonomia 11/12
Hospice care 09/12-01/13.
COPD 01/14
Intermittent CHF 6/15
Feeding tube NPO 03/16
VFI 12/2016
ORN 12/2017
Cardiac Event 06/2018
Bilateral VFI 01/2021
Thoracotomy Bilobectomy 01/2022
Bilateral VFI 05/2022
Total Laryngectomy 01/2023
| | | | | Joined: Jun 2007 Posts: 10,507 Likes: 7 Administrator, Director of Patient Support Services Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | | Administrator, Director of Patient Support Services Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
Joined: Jun 2007 Posts: 10,507 Likes: 7 | Im sorry for your loss. May your faith bring you comfort in this difficult time.
ChristineSCC 6/15/07 L chk & by L molar both Stag I, age44 2x cispltn-35 IMRT end 9/27/07 -65 lbs in 2 mo, no caregvr Clear PET 1/08 4/4/08 recur L chk Stag I surg 4/16/08 clr marg 215 HBO dives 3/09 teeth out, trismus 7/2/09 recur, Stg IV 8/24/09 trach, ND, mandiblctmy 3wks medicly inducd coma 2 mo xtended hospital stay, ICU & burn unit PICC line IV antibx 8 mo 10/4/10, 2/14/11 reconst surg OC 3x in 3 years very happy to be alive  | | |
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