Excellent thread to start Minnie!
Bill---why try and understand dorks??? I now 'tell it how it is'
My previous, carefully ordered, politically-correct life is totally out of the window!
If I spend a day in night-clothes--so what??
If I bump into an ex-pupil in town on way back from hospital, I smile and say 'Don't feel too good' and move on--instead of spending 10 mins chatting, asking them how they are and boosting their ego. I might, or might not , have made a difference to them whilst I was teaching/counselling them--nowadays I CAN'T! I'm not God!
The expression 'Life is too short.....' definitely kicks in!
(Actually, have NEVER stuffed a mushroom for those who know what I'm talking about!)
Brenda

I would have to say I have changed ALOT over the past year , in both good and bad ways.. I do stand for what I believe in much more and have reprioritized my life. I am def much more fearful then I have ever been ...

But I try to learn new things daily ...while I def used to be more dependent ( finacially ) and I am working so much harder to be Independent, for fear of losing the independence ( for whatever reason) .. Yea I would say it has changed me , and so would everyone around me .

Shar

Hi Minnie,
I guess I have changed in the other direction. I couldn't tell you the last time I have had road rage, I found out I can take my time and not let things others do effect my mood. I even find myself waking up early on days I could sleep till noon just to see the sunrise, they have become more presious to me as have the sunsets. I guess life means much more to me now and know how it can be jerked out from under you in an instant.

Bill - your mention of road rage reminded me of a friend I visited in Mexico last year. Any time someone else's driving habits appeared less than perfect, she would get so excited and I would always remind her that maybe that person's wife was having a baby and trying to get to the hospital or maybe going for a Rad tx, etc. It kind of diffused the rage until the next road rage opportunity. More than ever now, AC (after cancer) I try to watch out for stressed out drivers and give them a little kindness.

Bill,

You have employees in Florida.....I rest my case!!

That's why I lost Barb,, she just didn't use her coomon sense when it came to good old OC and didn't undersatnd how it could work on your mind and change your personality for a couple of months. Even after hearing and reading posts.

OOOh Jim that was a bit sharp
For me Robs illness brought me a family i barely knew,friendship that will stay forever,and the loss of my fear of flying ,for which i will be eternally grateful Without that i wouldnt be where i am now .
On the downside it has made me totally intolerant of whingers,wimps people who think they are better than me,bullies, bigots,and careless professionals.
So i guess that means there are many ways having cancer affects us ,but for the most part once the fear,anger and shock dissapate,some good must come out of it. Musnt it?

Dave, that was such a good line you had in your post, how you were still innocent at the age of 58. I believe that's how it is for all of us, until something like this happens, no matter our age. We spend our lives knowing that death is there, waiting for us, and that it will claim us one day. But we don't worry about it, we don't think of it a hundred times a day, it's something that is safely in the shadows of a long hallway in my opinion. We feel safe and innocent where death is concerned. Then we become a cancer patient, and it's like someone turned on a light in that dark hallway and the face of cancer, the realness of it, jumps out at us. Innocence is gone, safety net ripped to shreds.
So, for you to say you were innocent at the age of 58............every other 58 year old man that hasn't suffered your disease is STILL innocent!

Great responses, I can always count on this board to make me know that my feelings are valid and that I'm not a total nutcake.
Love,
Minnie

I agree with the stupidity, laziness and most of all the common snese that too many people were raised without. This stuff upsets me too just like it does talbill. Some are just dumber in the head than a mule is in the ass.

A couple of thoughts on road rage:
1. I knew that I was getting well when I found myself getting angry at drivers again! That kind of loss of perspective only comes to those not consumed with thoughts of dying.

2. Although I am not particularly religious I heard a very good sermon at a local church during my recovery: The preacher told of how one evening he was going to have dinner at the home of a church member and carrying in his car a big tin dish of lasagna prepared by the church kitchen. He said that because he had to drive slowly and carefully to keep from spilling the lasagna, cars honked, sped around him and the drivers generally got angry and gave him hell. He said, that he could have used a sign in the window that said "Lasagna on Board".
The point, of course, was well taken. As we drive and run and walk through this world, we have no idea what the person next to us is going through at that moment...for all we know, they are on the way to their mother's funeral.

On the other hand, if I still have my edge, then at least I know that I am alive.

Danny G.