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#56485 05-29-2005 03:48 PM
Joined: Sep 2004
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Tonya Offline OP
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Mark,
Thank you so much for the valuable information. He is still having terrible headaches but I told my sister to make sure to contact the pain doctors tomorrow and let them know - of course it is a holiday and the place seems to shut down at those times. We will definately fill his days with love and rejoice in the time we have shared with him. I love the way JAM put it... "Help David celebrate the life he has lived". Thank you all for your support.
Tonya


Sister of 32 year-old oral cancer victim. Our battle is over but the war rages on. My brother passed July 26, 2005. He was a smokeless tobacco user.
#56486 05-30-2005 03:58 AM
Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 3,552
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If he owns property he should have an attorney set up a living trust to avoid probate and tax issues. Trusts always include a will and durable power of attorney, usually with advanced directives as well. I had a paralegal do mine and it was about $400.00.

I am heartbroken to hear the latest news,


Gary Allsebrook
***********************************
Dx 11/22/02, SCC, 6 x 3 cm Polypoid tumor, rt tonsil, Stage III/IVA, T3N0M0 G1/2
Tx 1/28/03 - 3/19/03, Cisplatin ct x2, IMRT, bilateral, with boost, x35(69.96Gy)
________________________________________________________
"You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes" (James 4:14 NIV)
#56487 05-30-2005 05:21 AM
Joined: Feb 2005
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Tonya,

Email me if you need an attorney to help. I have a friend here in Houston. She is good and I am sure I can get her to help. When Harry was first dx he had no will either and she drew up all of the papers for us and then called him everyday until he went and signed them. If it weren't for her persistance he would still be without it.

If you need or want my help just ask and it is all yours. I will help in any way I can.

As for holidays... I would call the doc today. Pain takes no holiday and he should not suffer just because of some stupid calendar. That is why doctors are ON CALL! I would call today and every moment I needed to no matter the time or date in order to make him as comfortable as possible.

Best to you and your family!!!

Cindy


Caregiver to ex-husband Harry. Dx 12/10/04 SCC stg 3, BOT with 2 nodes left side. No surg/chemo x4 /rad.x37(rad comp. 03/29/05)Cisplatin/5FU(comp. 05/07/05)-T1N2M0-(cancer free 06/14/05)-(12/10/06) 2 yr. Survivor!!!
#56488 05-30-2005 08:03 AM
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 1,627
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Hi Tonya,
Bless your brother, he has been through so much. I'm happy for you, your family, and him that you feel he is accepting what is going to happen. You are traveling a section of this cancer journey that all of us hope to avoid but know that we are with you while you go through it.
Please take Cindy's advice and call the doctors, in fact call them approx. every 5 minutes until they get his pain under control. He has had these headaches since right after surgery and enough is enough. He shouldn't have to be in pain on top of everything else he is expected to deal with right now. Does he have a patient advocate at the hospital? Maybe they can help.
Know that your brother and you are on the minds of many today.
Minnie


SCC Left Mandible. Jaw replaced with bone from leg. Neck disection, 37 radiation treatments. Recurrence 8-28-07, stage 2, tongue. One third of tongue removed 10-4-07. 5-23-08 chemo started for tumor behind swallowing passage, Our good friend and much loved OCF member Minnie has been lost to the disease (RIP 10-29-08). We will all miss her greatly.
#56489 05-30-2005 02:00 PM
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 153
Tonya Offline OP
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Thanks to everyone, again. They increased his pain meds last night and he slept for the first time in three days. I am so glad because he needs to be rested for his trip home, which maybe tomorrow or Wednesday. My sister said he is looking good and was able to walk around today. We are looking forward to having him home and enjoying every second we have left.
Thank you all for the blessings you are sending our way.
Tonya


Sister of 32 year-old oral cancer victim. Our battle is over but the war rages on. My brother passed July 26, 2005. He was a smokeless tobacco user.
#56490 06-01-2005 04:31 AM
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Posts: 153
Tonya Offline OP
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David arrived home about midnight last night. Thank you for all your prayers, thoughts and wishes that have aided his safe arrival home. I will keep in touch on his progress as I can. Right now I'm going to enjoy a beautiful day with him and his family.
Tonya


Sister of 32 year-old oral cancer victim. Our battle is over but the war rages on. My brother passed July 26, 2005. He was a smokeless tobacco user.
#56491 06-01-2005 07:30 AM
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 1,244
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Tonya
I'm so glad you have David home, please add my prayers to the others, may your God guide you well.
Sunshine...love and hugs
Helen


SCC Base of tongue, (TISN0M0) laser surgery, 10/01 and 05/03 no clear margins. Radial free flap graft to tonsil pillar, partial glossectomy, left neck dissection 08/04
#56492 06-01-2005 03:43 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
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JAM Offline
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32 years is not very long, but hopefully there are good and precious memories in each one of those years. That is what we need to celebrate. Thinking about your family with empathy. Amy


CGtoJohn:SCC Flr of Mouth.Dx 3\05. Surg.4\05.T3NOMO.IMRTx30. Recur Dx 1\06.Surg 2\06. Chemo: 4 Cycles of Carbo\Taxol:on Erbitux for 7 mo. Lost our battle 2-23-07- But not the will to fight this disease

:
#56493 06-03-2005 03:13 PM
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 153
Tonya Offline OP
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Thank you Amy. I can honestly say that my brother has lived each day of his 32 years to the fullest. My husband has comforted me many times by reminding me that David has lived more than most people in their 60's. He just packed it into 32 years. When he was first diagnosed and I wept for the time he would miss with his little one, my husband said, "David has already spent more time with Adley (his little girl) than most fathers spend with their children in a lifetime," and I know it's true. Every minute he had off from work was spent with her, taking her fishing, four wheeling, anything that was outside and they could do together. I am so grateful for all these things, though the shortness of his life still hurts deep in my soul. Our memories are good and they are precious and we will share them repeatedly with his little girl in the years to come so she will know the great love he had for her, the love she is probably too young to remember.
We are and will continue to celebrate his life.
Thanks,
Tonya


Sister of 32 year-old oral cancer victim. Our battle is over but the war rages on. My brother passed July 26, 2005. He was a smokeless tobacco user.
#56494 06-03-2005 05:28 PM
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 1,627
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Hi Tonya,
When I was in my darkest part of the "after treatment" depression I had one certain thought that haunted me. I have a 6 year old grandaughter, Shelby, who is very close to me. For whatever reason she has always seemed to need me more then her sister who is a year older. She was 4 at the time I finished radiation and I would watch her and realize that if I died she would never remember me. She was simply to young and I was aware that I had no memories of my own from when I was 4. That bothered me more then anything. Does David have the strength to maybe make her a short simple video? I made build a bears for the two grandaughters, with a voice box inside that wished them love and good night from nana, in my own voice. It used to take my breath away to think that all those years of fiercely loving Shelby would not be remembered. But one thing comforted me and that was the realization that somewhere in her was a part of her that was shaped by my actions, by my love for her. She might not remember me but she had a part of herself that was only possible because of my interaction with her. I do hope that David will take comfort in the fact that he spent the most formative years with his daughter, he was an active part of shaping who she is and will be.
I think of you and your brother every day and pray for a miracle.
Take care Tonya,
Minnie


SCC Left Mandible. Jaw replaced with bone from leg. Neck disection, 37 radiation treatments. Recurrence 8-28-07, stage 2, tongue. One third of tongue removed 10-4-07. 5-23-08 chemo started for tumor behind swallowing passage, Our good friend and much loved OCF member Minnie has been lost to the disease (RIP 10-29-08). We will all miss her greatly.
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