#56448 05-10-2005 01:13 PM | Joined: Jul 2003 Posts: 1,163 Patient Advocate (1000+ posts) | OP  Patient Advocate (1000+ posts)
Joined: Jul 2003 Posts: 1,163 | Hello All,
The last few chemo treatments I realized that many people who are normally there on Monday weren't there.
I asked the Nurse about it and she told me several had finished there trearment. If you ever had chemo it is kind of like a community room. You get to know these people real well.
Monday I asked about an older gentleman who was receiving chemo with me for about 6 months. I asked about him and was told he passed away a month ago. It saddened me to hear the news. His name was Arden and his lovely wife Donna was with him for every treatment. A very friendly couple. His wife always brought homemade cookies in for everyone.
As I was in the exam room waiting to see my Doctor the nurse knocked on the door and there stood Donna with a tin full of homemade cookies. My tears flowed freely. I felt so sorry for her. She was the one comforting me!! A very strong woman.
I had a nice chat with her and she is doing fine.
It made me feel better to see her.
It kind of woke me up again how short our life's can be. Take the time to love our friends and don't take life for granted.
Love Ya, Danny Boy
Daniel Bogan DX 7/16/03 Right tonsil,SCC T4NOMO. right side neck disection, IMRT Radiation x 33.
Recurrance in June 05 in right tonsil area. Now receiving palliative chemo (Erbitux) starting 3/9/06
Our good friend and loved member of the forum has passed away RIP Dannyboy 7-16-2006
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#56449 05-10-2005 01:40 PM | Joined: Mar 2003 Posts: 251 Gold Member (200+ posts) | | Gold Member (200+ posts)
Joined: Mar 2003 Posts: 251 | Goodness, Danny, this is a hard post to read. This is difficult stuff.
Several months post-treatment for my husband, we decided to call a couple that we had gotten to know during treatment. This guy and my husband always pictured how they would go fishing together when they were through this whole journey. Well, instead, we were informed by his wife that he had passed. I absolutely fell apart upon hearing the news. I tried to offer her some comfort, but I was devastated by the news.
I don't claim to know what it is like for you hearing this news, just want you to know that - at some level - I can certainly feel tremendous empathy.
Best,
Anita
Husband Dx 12/02 Stage 4 Tonsil Cancer T1N2bM0; surgery, radiation, chemo 1/03 - 4/03.
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#56450 05-10-2005 02:10 PM | Joined: Sep 2003 Posts: 153 Gold Member (100+ posts) | | Gold Member (100+ posts)
Joined: Sep 2003 Posts: 153 | hey Danny Boy,
cancer folks and their support folks seem to be some of the most wonderful people. sorry to hear Arden passed away... Donna is a real special.
you know who i'll be thinking of the next time i have a homemade cookie.
i appreciate you sharing that with us.
cu,
larryb | | |
#56451 05-11-2005 04:10 AM | Joined: Jul 2003 Posts: 382 Likes: 3 Platinum Member (300+ posts) | | Platinum Member (300+ posts)
Joined: Jul 2003 Posts: 382 Likes: 3 | Danny Boy-
In some ways having the big "C" gives us such a different perspective on life and what's important.I would not wish this disease on my worst enemy but the life lessons I have learned through dealing with it I would wish on all humanity. All life is so precious and every minute of breath a reason to rejoice. The love that pours out through you Danny gives everyone you touch a smile and I know you made a difference in their lives. I shall say a prayer for your friends. Love - Kris
SCC Stage IV left tonsil neck disection 3/02 radiation finished 6/02 chemo finished 9/02
Stage 2A left breast cancer 3/09, chemo and radiation, finished treatment 2/7/10 -Stage 2 right beast cancer 10/14 chemo and radiation
Every day is still a gift :-)
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#56452 05-11-2005 05:30 AM | Joined: Nov 2004 Posts: 90 Senior Member (75+ posts) | | Senior Member (75+ posts)
Joined: Nov 2004 Posts: 90 | Kris - what you said was beautiful and so right. I couldn't add anything more to that....
Danny Boy - I am so sorry to hear about your friend Arden. What a wonderful woman his wife Donna must be too. It really touched my heart to read she brought you homemade cookies. Your post really got to me, I just don't know what to say other than I'm going to call my husband right now and tell him (again) how much I Love him.
Shelley
Caregiver to husband, Ron. Throat cancer, Stage II. No Chemo or Surgery. Completed 35 Radiation Treatments in November 2004.
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#56453 05-11-2005 03:01 PM | Joined: Aug 2004 Posts: 217 Platinum Member (200+ posts) | | Platinum Member (200+ posts)
Joined: Aug 2004 Posts: 217 | Dear All,
So hard to read about a life being cut down by something really ugly. In the perfect world, we'd live until we were tired of it, and then fall into a peaceful sleep. Having to fight for life, because we are not yet tired of it, is a killer in itself. My mother-in-law fought with everything she had, but lost. Her husband was just plain tired of living, and his passing was ever so gentle. Such a contrast.
We found out not long ago that a former employee of my husband's firm - and a close personal friend of his - - best fishing/camping buddy -- was ill. We visited him during one of our regular visits to the cancer center and would not have recognized him. 47 years young, pancreatic cancer....diagnosed the same time Tom was, but dead 6 months afterwards. So incredibly sad and hard to grasp. Being in this situation does, truly, make you look at life in a whole new light, and boy, don't we appreciate more than ever the life that bursts forth in spring? Aren't the rain showers wonderful? Even mowing the lawn brings me happiness now that Tom is gaining distance from the disease daily. The fear is hidden - sometimes not very well - but the sun does much to push the fears out of reach.
I wish you all good health and happiness. This disease HAS enriched the life of my family, and we owe much to everyone here.
Nicki
Nicki, wife of Thomas
dx July 2004, SCC, Stage 4 Tonsil. Tx begun 8/4/04. Cisplatin/Xeloda x 4; IMRT 7 wks, 8/7 - 10/25/04 Modified Radical Dissection (right), Selective Dissection (Left) 12/10/04.
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#56454 05-12-2005 01:54 AM | Joined: Jan 2004 Posts: 1,116 Patient Advocate (1000+ posts) | | Patient Advocate (1000+ posts)
Joined: Jan 2004 Posts: 1,116 | Thank you for sharing that Danny Boy, sorry to hear about Arden. Donna is a special person. Nicki, we had a close friend, age 55, pass away from pancreatic cancer two summers ago. It took him quickly. Very sad, all he ever wanted to do was retire and fish. I hate CANCER! I pray for a magic bullet to wipe out all types. God Bless.
Love,
Carol
Diagnosed May 2002 with Stage IV tongue cancer, two lymph nodes positive. Surgery to remove 1/2 tongue, neck dissection, 35 radiation treatments. 11/2007, diagnosed with cancer of soft palate, surgery 12/14/07, jaw split. 3/24/10, cancer on tongue behind flap, need petscan, surgery scheduled 4/16/10
---update passed away 8-27-11---
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#56455 05-12-2005 03:56 AM | Joined: Apr 2005 Posts: 2,219 Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | | Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
Joined: Apr 2005 Posts: 2,219 | Dear Danny Boy,
It's amazing how, in such a short time, I feel that I know so many of you for my whole life. When I read a story such as yours, it touches me deeply. I am so sorry for your loss.
I'm sure that bringing the cookies is a form of therapy for Donna. By Making others happy and bringing them pleasure it is helping her to cope.
I hope that your treatment continues to go well and that you will be writing soon to tell us that your chemo is over.
Jerry
Jerry
Retired Dentist, 59 years old at diagnosis. SCC of the left lateral border of the tongue (Stage I). Partial glossectomy and 30 nodes removed, 4/6/05. Nodes all clear. No chemo no radiation 18 year survivor.
"Whatever doesn't kill me, makes me stronger"
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#56456 05-13-2005 05:26 AM | Joined: Apr 2002 Posts: 80 Likes: 1 Senior Member (75+ posts) | | Senior Member (75+ posts)
Joined: Apr 2002 Posts: 80 Likes: 1 | Hey everyone wouldn't it be great if everyone could see value of life, love and happiness without having to get cancer. Like slow down and smell the roses. Look into the face of the elderly and see their experiences and learn from them.BEST WISHES TO ALL
JOAN
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