Hi Dan,

Just wanted to add my own note of support for you. I know that here in NJ the cold has been giving me a bit of troulbe with new aches and stifffness and the like so I can only imagine what it is like further north.

I decided a short time ago that I was going to tell my ENT anything that seemed out of the ordinary and not worry about it until he told me to worry about it. For awhile I was anxious about every odd feeling etc. Now I just keep plugging along.

I like the term the "new normal." We will not return to what we were like before this journey began but thats ok. I think there is a lot going for the "new normal." Many of us will agree that the way we approach life is different, and the difference is better.

I still have everyone in my prayers. Let us know when the docs tell you that there was nothing to worry aobut

Peace,

Fr. Mike

Hi Dan,
It was exactly one year ago today that I started treatment and I am happy to tell you that life can be damn close to what it used to be. In many ways it's even better. And "new normal" to me just means making minor adjustments to the changes in physiology from pre treatment. Some of these things might have occured as a part of the natural aging process anyway. I too, like probably most of us, suffered depression post Tx and lived through that also. It's just part of the process - it'll pass too...

Hey Dan,

Just wanted to fire off a note of encouragemet. Seems I've been out of contact, my e-mail service provider took a "vacation" during Chinese New Year, and they should be back in business sometime today or tomorrow. (maybe)

I didn't have to deal with PEG and such, but man, the post treatment depression was something to deal with. At least from chatting with some folks from the board here I knew what it was and was able to cope. Yep, the feeling that "somethings's up" will stay for a while too, last scan I was still as nervous as the first one post treatment.

Guess these feelings of pre-scan fear lessen with time, maybe even the physical post treatment side effects too!! What doesn't help is the cold winter weather. Anyway you would be surprised what activities can cause sore neck muscles, especially if they are on the opposite side of surrgery as we over compensate because of the weakened muscles on the surgery side.

It gets better, really it does.
Take care
Bob

Hi Dan , Bob is right: things can really get better. I choose not to respond to your post earlier because I know very well that with such a wonderful family standing by your side, I am very sure you can overcome your depression with ease. As cancer survivors, we tend to be too greedy if we expect ourselves to resume to the normal life we used to have before cancer.Not realistic! I had been summoned to serve as juror here for three times before I had cancer and I was summoned again three weeks ago. It hurt when I knew very well that I was unfit to be one and so, with my oncologist's certification, I asked for permanent exemption. Something that I could do with ease in the past can no longer be done today. But to look at life from another perspective, there are still a lot of things I can do. I learn to count my blessing every day, which makes myself a lot happier. We are not fighting with a cold but a severe illness called CANCER. To be able to live is already the biggest blessing.
One more thing, don't be too lazy when you eat. If you can eat by mouth, forget the PEG tube!

Karen stage 4 tonsil cancer diagnosed in 9/01.

Hey Danny Boy,

We've been through a lot together.

You've been one of my strongest supporters.

I'm just the caregiver, but you've picked me off the floor more than once.

Now it's my turn.

This phase of recovery is very hard. During treatment you are "fighting" the devil. Once treatment ends, at least in our experience, you feel so freakin' vulnerable. No longer does the disease have a face, but the shadow of a "lurking" enemy. Dennis had the worst time during this phase, but I promise that it gets better.

Nothing is easy about this fight. I'm not about to tell you otherwise, but I'm a firm believer in faith. Whatever shape, form,.....doesn't matter. Just a belief in your own strength is enough to fight this coward. And, I KNOW you are strong, and able to give it an extraordinary run for its' money.

Love you Babe,
Mandi

Hi Dan,
I just joined this forum today and have seen your name quite a few times in my reading. I didnt realize you were so recent out of treatment. If you read my introduction, you'll realize that I'm knee deep in self pity, that sometimes I dont realize that there are a lot of people out there in the same predicament. I just want to say that it does get better. I was diagnosed with stage 4 tonsil cancer, had modified radical neck disection, 33 radiation treatments and 3 cycles of cisplatin. It was a nightmare. But each day it gets better. Keep a positive attitude and know that depression goes with the territory. I was on antidepressants for 6 months and my doc suggests I go back on them. I suppose I'm just not allowed to cry in front on anyone anymore. Well, except for you guys. Hang in there, you'll enjoy food again, once the thrush is gone and you are able to taste. I do think cold weather affects me adversely, so I can understand your frustration. But get out there and shovel that snow, it'll get your blood pumping.

Keep your chin up,

Kelley