Hi Everyone:

I'm posting this here because every caregiver and supportive partner knows the hell that is called check-up day and I am probably one of the worst offenders for thinking the world is about to cave in every time Dave has a check-up. Just want to let you know, that despite my craziness and feeling like a top spinning precariously all day yesterday, Dave did have a clear scope and a clean check-up.This makes 16 months since diagnosis and almost 12 since surgery and radiation ended. He goes to the radiation doc again in three months and our trusted ENT who I love next month.

Of course, compared to dealing with my anxiety every check-up day, the scope is a piece of cake. I'm trying to get better at being in the watchful waiting zone but just don't think "calm and Kim" go in the same sentence where Dave's health is concerned.

Funny, when I bumped in to DIGTEXAS on line yesterday, he typed one line-"Dave will be fine today". So,why can't I do that???? Maybe this is the men are from Mars women are from Venus discussion....!

Anyway, thanks for all of you who thought of Dave yesterday-it was much appreciated as always.

Good day to everyone today and especially to our brave friend Packer 66.

Kim

Hi Kim and Dave..

We are really relieved to hear Dave had a good check-up. Dan sees his ENT every three months now, so it will be Dec 11th. I am not crazy about him being seen so close to Christmas!
I think he gets his CT scan sometime that month too.

Kim, I feel the same way when Dan goes to his appt. He wants to go alone now, I think he is afraid I will freak out on him like I did the day we got the bad news over two years ago. I hold my breath from the time he leaves until he gets home.
I honestly don't see that getting any easier!!

See what alot of good vibes coming from OCF can do!!
Love, Sherrie

Kim & Dave.. CONGRATS on the good news!! I hate the dreaded scope ( I call it the 'up your nose with the rubber hose torture') I try to talk my doctor out of it if possible when I go! Of course it doesn't help that I have a deviated septum either I guess.
Anyway, glad to hear that all went well on the checkup.

Julie D.

Kim,

Congrats to you and Dave. I have noticed (before current happenings) that Mike and I both would get a bit "testy" with each other right before checkups and while waiting for scan results. So, is it good to know you are normal????


Take care, love to Dave.

Dinah

Thanks for sharing the ggod news, Kim. We have our monthly appointment in a few days and I am already getting into anxiety mode. Thanks, Dinah, for recognizing the "testiness" before appointments, scans. I find myself really irritable the day before and notice it in my husband, also. In fact, the day before his 3-month CT scan we had a big argument in a Walmart parking lot. We NEVER do stuff like that. I looked at all the people walking by thinking to themselves, "Boy, I'm glad I don't have their life" and felt like yelling at them, "You don't know the half of it!!!!" I feel bad because I know that I am not being the support I should be when in this kind of state of anxiety.

Anita

Hi Anita
Whats normal? Who cares? prozac, wine and shouting that sounds normal to ME. Think we all do what we have to sometimes, my husband and I put our favorite music on full volume (with headphones) in two separate rooms and chill out, it helps us, so long as we all enjoy to make up what the heck!
Cheers Helen

Helen...works for me...lets all get together for a Prozac/wine/yelling party. Could possibly work better than any of my current coping mechanisms.

Anita

I would like to be the first person to reserve a spot at this party. I know my kids would be happy to hear me yell at someone else for a change.

Mandi

Count me on the party......I got so testy this time, I managed to have a fight with Frank over the phone and he can`t talk........i had a cuple glasses of port last night, slept on the couch......afraid i would oversleep........Dorothy and ToTo, actually not Toto, but my Angel Flight bear are off to Boston............not sure yet which personality is going.................Spoke with Frank`s doc yesterday, who is quite pleased with his progress......now if with could just get The Bitching Angel, my new personality under control. we`d be all set, although, I am coming to love the Bitching Angel, gives me plenty of room to be good and bad.............Love and Prayers to All........Love, Dee

Hi Everybody:

Thanks for the kinds words. I love parties and think the ideas sound cool. How about a catchy name like "Oral Cancer Whine and Cheese"? I'm still working on where the Prozac fits, or in Dee's case, I think the Bitch Angel favors Xanax, but we can work out the details.

Dave and I had a very testy, horrible weekend before his appointment. We teach in the same place which is around the corner from Mass General where he had his check-up. Like Sherrie, I've essentially been requested not to attend appointments or else Dave may get crazy and send the happy scope up or down one of my orifices out of frustration that I can't stay calm. So, Dave bolted out of our faculty meeting to make his appointment and barely said good-bye. I was really upset but realized he probably couldn't take a dose of my neuroses on top of his secret fear of going (Helen, if you can give me any tips on how to deal with private stoic British guys, it would be much appreciated). He did call immediately after the appointment and was fine. I've decided the zone is an odd one and it just needed to be acknowledged as sucheach time the appointments happen.

Good thing we weren't in the Walmart parking lot ourselves-I don't think the People Pleasers would have been pleased!

Nothing like a little solidarity,

Kim