#5037 02-18-2005 05:19 AM | Joined: Dec 2003 Posts: 207 Platinum Member (200+ posts) | OP  Platinum Member (200+ posts)
Joined: Dec 2003 Posts: 207 | Hello old friends, Eric here... just got the above news from my doctor on an MRI I had earlier this week (my third such good report since finishing treatment in September). I think the word "Yippeee!!" comes to mind...
I realize I haven't been here in awhile (I'll explain that below), but I wanted to share the good news with so many of you who were by side through my ordeals of 2003-04.
My life has been a whirlwind since my last rad and chemo treatments. My wife and I moved back to North Carolina in October. I quickly started a new job, which keeps me hopping probably 60 hours a week. Then in November, my wife and I began the process to adopt a baby girl. This is what has made my life crazy -- the birth mom is a 17-year-old family relative (on my wife's side). She's been all for the adoption from the start. But the birth dad decided pretty much last minute that he's not in favor of it. So a major -- unforeseen -- legal battle has ensued. The birth mom still officially has custody. But she has moved in with us so that we can still be in the role of parents. It really has been a soap opera -- better than a soap opera in terms of script.
To be honest, the job and the adoption stuff (plus being a new dad and all that entails) has been pretty exhausting. I frankly just didn't have the energy to come by these boards too much (which I regret) or to do too much else other than sleep and eat. It is catching up to me physically now...
In all truthfulness, this adoption stuff has been harder on my wife and I (especially me) than the cancer stuff. I guess when fighting cancer, you know your enemy and everyone's rooting for you and alongside you. In this, I'm not quite sure how to proceed. The birth father is a 17-year-old kid. He says he wants a "role" in his child's life (a good thing). But he's also a high school dropout, marijuana user with a criminal record, "anger management issues" and a propensity for lying through his teeth (and he's told some whoppers already to us, the courts, etc).
The best way I can explain it is you know the agonizing time between taking a cancer test (MRI, PET of whatever) and the time when you finally hear the results? I feel like I've been living in that time for the past three months waiting for courts to decide whether or not our adoption petition will go through -- all the while this soap opera is playing out around us and including us.
Sorry to rant about that. I guess I should be thanking God that I'm even around to be a part of this, eh? Maybe I had better re-read what I just wrote and that will calm me down... Anyway, best wishes to all.
Eric
Tongue cancer (SCC), diagnosed Oct. 2003 (T2 N0 M0). Surgery to remove tumor. IMRT Radiation 30x in Dec 2003 - Jan. 2004. Recurrence lymph node - radical neck dissection June 2004. Second round of rad/chemo treatments ended Sept. 2004.
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#5038 02-18-2005 11:13 AM | Joined: Apr 2004 Posts: 482 "Above & Beyond" Member (300+ posts) | | "Above & Beyond" Member (300+ posts)
Joined: Apr 2004 Posts: 482 | Eric, glad to hear from you. Sorry to read of your adoption problems. Hope no further issues result from the young father. Hopefully, he'll realize that he is too young to properly take care of a new baby and just get on with his life. I was a daddy the first time when I was 19 and know how difficult it can be to try to support a wife and child. If I can help, just email me.
Good news on the MRI front. Glad to hear you are still on the healthy side of the equation. Yippee is only one of the words that comes to mind. "Cancer free" are certainly nice words to hear. Are you near a major cancer center where you moved in North Carolina? Hope so. Keep us posted please.
Regards, Kirk Georgia
Stage IV, T1N2aM0, right tonsil primary, Tonsilectomy 11/03, 35 rad/3cisplatin chemo, right neck dissection 1/04 - 5/04.
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#5039 02-18-2005 11:41 AM | Joined: Mar 2003 Posts: 1,384 Likes: 1 Patient Advocate (1000+ posts) | | Patient Advocate (1000+ posts)
Joined: Mar 2003 Posts: 1,384 Likes: 1 | Good to hear from you Eric, sounds like you have plenty of "life after cancer"
Take care
Mark, 21 Year survivor, SCC right tonsil, 3 nodes positive, one with extra-capsular spread. I never asked what stage (would have scared me anyway) Right side tonsillectomy, radical neck dissection right side, maximum radiation to both sides, no chemo, no PEG, age 40 when diagnosed.
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#5040 02-18-2005 11:47 AM | Joined: May 2002 Posts: 2,152 Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | | Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
Joined: May 2002 Posts: 2,152 | Hi Eric,
Good to hear from you again and YIP, YIP HOORAY for the good check up. Sorry to hear you are having adoption problems. I'll bet the father has no intention of providing any child support, decent or otherwise. It is really sad and one of the reasons many people go out of the country to adopt. They don't want the biological parents coming back 5 years later and deciding they want to take the child back. Unfortunately this means many children in the US do not get adopted.
I hope all works out for you. Hope you are enjoying your new home and job. I may make it April 9. Jury still out on that.
Take care,
Eileen
----------------------
Aug 1997 unknown primary, Stage III
mets to 1 lymph node in neck; rt ND, 36 XRT rad
Aug 2001 tiny tumor on larynx, Stage I total laryngectomy; left ND
June 5, 2010 dx early stage breast cancer
June 9, 2011 SCC 1.5 cm hypo pharynx, 70% P-16 positive, no mets, Stage I
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#5041 02-18-2005 11:52 AM | Joined: Jan 2004 Posts: 1,116 Patient Advocate (1000+ posts) | | Patient Advocate (1000+ posts)
Joined: Jan 2004 Posts: 1,116 | Very good to hear from you, Eric. So glad you are getting good reports. Oh my gosh, I just finished reading a book and I kid you not, it was very much like the situation you described with the adoption. I hope it turns out well, (it did in my book) SMILE!! God Bless, Carol
Diagnosed May 2002 with Stage IV tongue cancer, two lymph nodes positive. Surgery to remove 1/2 tongue, neck dissection, 35 radiation treatments. 11/2007, diagnosed with cancer of soft palate, surgery 12/14/07, jaw split. 3/24/10, cancer on tongue behind flap, need petscan, surgery scheduled 4/16/10
---update passed away 8-27-11---
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#5042 02-18-2005 03:08 PM | Joined: Apr 2004 Posts: 837 "Above & Beyond" Member (300+ posts) | | "Above & Beyond" Member (300+ posts)
Joined: Apr 2004 Posts: 837 | Eric,
Welcome back - I'm so glad you're doing better on the health front. I just hope the road starts to get smoother with the adoption process.
Cathy
Tongue SCC (T2M0N0), poorly differentiated, diagnosed 3/89, partial glossectomy and neck dissection 4/89, radiation from early June to late August 1989
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#5043 02-19-2005 11:48 AM | Joined: Jul 2003 Posts: 235 Gold Member (200+ posts) | | Gold Member (200+ posts)
Joined: Jul 2003 Posts: 235 | Eric,
Excellent news!!!
Best wishes,
Dave
Mom's caregvr. DDS failed to dx 01/03. Dx Stg IV SCC 05/03. Induct. chemo, IMRT, 5FU, H, Iressa, Neck disect, radiation. Dad's caregvr. Dx 01/04 Ext. Stg SCLC. Mets to liver/bone 08/04. Died 11/12/04. Mom tongue CA dx 06/13, hemiglossectomy (80% removed) 08/13. Clean margins and nodes, but PNI. 6/15/15: Tongue CA at base of remnant tongue. Declined further tx; hospice.
Died 10/13/15. What a long and difficult journey.
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#5044 02-19-2005 01:09 PM | Joined: May 2003 Posts: 928 "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts) | | "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts)
Joined: May 2003 Posts: 928 | Eric
So glad your health issues are looking good.
The stress you are presently under is a worry, I wish there was some easy resolution for you and your wife.
Let us know how things develop, we obviously hope its a good outcome for all of you.
Take care
Marica
Caregiver to husband Pete, Dx 4/03 SCC Base of Tongue Stage IV. Chemo /Rad no surgery. Treatment finished 8/03. Doing great!
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#5045 02-19-2005 06:11 PM | Joined: Aug 2003 Posts: 1,627 Patient Advocate (1000+ posts) | | Patient Advocate (1000+ posts)
Joined: Aug 2003 Posts: 1,627 | Hi Eric,
I'm happy to hear from you, I sent you an email a few weeks ago trying to make contact. Great to hear you are doing well after treatment!
This adoption drama must be wearing you and your wife out. My advice would be to keep the young lady living with you until it's resolved. Have the mother go to court and get court ordered child support. He isn't held responsible until there is an order for support. I have a pretty good feeling that once he has to start paying money he will back down. The state will only let him get so far behind on payments before they will put him in jail. It probably sounds like dirty tactics, but sounds like your dealing with someone not of strong character.........so pull out all the big guns. Once you push him so far, he will jump at the chance to sign off parental rights.
Hope it all works out for you and hope to see you, your wife and new daughter at the walk in April.
Take care,
Minnie
SCC Left Mandible. Jaw replaced with bone from leg. Neck disection, 37 radiation treatments. Recurrence 8-28-07, stage 2, tongue. One third of tongue removed 10-4-07. 5-23-08 chemo started for tumor behind swallowing passage, Our good friend and much loved OCF member Minnie has been lost to the disease (RIP 10-29-08). We will all miss her greatly.
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#5046 02-20-2005 10:42 AM | Joined: Sep 2003 Posts: 1,244 Patient Advocate (1000+ posts) | | Patient Advocate (1000+ posts)
Joined: Sep 2003 Posts: 1,244 | Eric
Great to have you back with us.. Great your health is good.. Sorry your attempts to settle as a family are not going so smoothly, hang I sure your perseverance with get you there...
Sunshine... love and hugs
Helen
SCC Base of tongue, (TISN0M0) laser surgery, 10/01 and 05/03 no clear margins. Radial free flap graft to tonsil pillar, partial glossectomy, left neck dissection 08/04
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