#4909 01-29-2005 10:47 PM | Joined: Dec 2004 Posts: 18 Member | OP  Member
Joined: Dec 2004 Posts: 18 | Hi, last time I posted my husband was recovering from a biopsy which had discovered a recurrence, we have been waiting to see how he would be treated, sadly the doctors have said there is nothing that they can do, as to operate would be too disabling and they could not guarrantee that they would get all the cancer, i think the cancer is now also in his throat, no more radiation or chemo either, so we have been referred to palliative, hospice care, we were very distressed by the news but now more resigned, my husband seems fairly well at the moment and we will make the most of the time we have left with the children (5 and 6 years) and together, i feel frustrated though that there seems nothing else left to do for him and a bit frightened as i am worried what the future holds.
charm
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#4910 01-30-2005 02:08 AM | Joined: Sep 2003 Posts: 1,244 Patient Advocate (1000+ posts) | | Patient Advocate (1000+ posts)
Joined: Sep 2003 Posts: 1,244 | Charm
I'm sorry that your news is so hard, I take it that your husband is at a major head and neck cancer center and that a 2nd opinion is also not an option. My only advice is for you to get support for YOU from the hospice nurse to try and take away some of the fear and worries about the future..
Walk in the Sunshine when you can
love and hugs
Helen
SCC Base of tongue, (TISN0M0) laser surgery, 10/01 and 05/03 no clear margins. Radial free flap graft to tonsil pillar, partial glossectomy, left neck dissection 08/04
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#4911 01-30-2005 03:15 AM | Joined: Jan 2004 Posts: 1,116 Patient Advocate (1000+ posts) | | Patient Advocate (1000+ posts)
Joined: Jan 2004 Posts: 1,116 | Charm, I am so sorry to hear this. May God bless you and your husband and family during this time, my thoughts and prayers go out to you. God Bless You, Love, Carol
Diagnosed May 2002 with Stage IV tongue cancer, two lymph nodes positive. Surgery to remove 1/2 tongue, neck dissection, 35 radiation treatments. 11/2007, diagnosed with cancer of soft palate, surgery 12/14/07, jaw split. 3/24/10, cancer on tongue behind flap, need petscan, surgery scheduled 4/16/10
---update passed away 8-27-11---
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#4912 01-30-2005 03:32 AM | Joined: Jan 2005 Posts: 156 Gold Member (100+ posts) | | Gold Member (100+ posts)
Joined: Jan 2005 Posts: 156 | so sorry to hear your sad news,here in the uk we do not have these majorcancer centers people affulent eneough go over to america to seek second opinions from the top notch. may u find peace with your god, make the most of every day my thoghts +prays are with you best regards maz | | |
#4913 01-30-2005 09:07 AM | Joined: Jan 2004 Posts: 134 Gold Member (100+ posts) | | Gold Member (100+ posts)
Joined: Jan 2004 Posts: 134 | Hello Charm,
I am so sorry to hear abour your husband. I am going through something similar with my mother. They have told her that a tumor may be back in her jaw bone and they cant do a biopsy though because it would fracture her jaw. So, even if it is back, they are telling her there is nothing they can do. I am so sorry Charm. I have been so sad with my mom. And she has this awful infection in her mouth and her lip is swollen and her chin is dripping fluid. It is so hard. But the kind people in here have helped me with their support in telling me to just manage the pain. That is all we can really do. I am so sorry and will pray for you and your family. Our family meets with my moms doctor tomorrow to ask questions, etc. They are telling her no further surgeries or radiation either. But, we are trying some homeopathic remedies now. We are starting tomorrow. You never know. It may help. Hang in there. We are all here for you.
Stephany
Stephany.Daughter of mother who passed away 3/26/05 from Recurrent Gum Squamous Cell Carcinoma. She had 3 surgeries, and 6 weeks radiation, and then passed due to infection. I miss her very much. She was 65 years young when she passed. Love you Mom!
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#4914 01-30-2005 11:10 AM | Joined: May 2002 Posts: 2,152 Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | | Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
Joined: May 2002 Posts: 2,152 | Charm,
That is just awful news. Is it possible to get a second opinion or are you already in a major cancer center and trust the doctors? In the US, they will often just fax records and films for a second opinion. You don't actually have to go there unless they think they can do something for you. If hospice is available, I strongly recommend you call them. They will be there to help with everything.
Take care,
Eileen
----------------------
Aug 1997 unknown primary, Stage III
mets to 1 lymph node in neck; rt ND, 36 XRT rad
Aug 2001 tiny tumor on larynx, Stage I total laryngectomy; left ND
June 5, 2010 dx early stage breast cancer
June 9, 2011 SCC 1.5 cm hypo pharynx, 70% P-16 positive, no mets, Stage I
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#4915 01-30-2005 11:48 AM | Joined: Dec 2003 Posts: 528 "OCF Down Under" "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts) | | "OCF Down Under" "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts)
Joined: Dec 2003 Posts: 528 | Dear Charm
How sorry I am to hear of your husband's prognosis. It is particularly distressing for such a young family. I'm sure your doctors would have been in touch with their international colleagues before giving you such news. You are right, you need to concentrate on quality of life as a family.
You are in my thoughts, with love from Helen
RHTonsil SCC Stage IV tx completed May 03
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#4916 01-30-2005 01:58 PM | Joined: Jan 2005 Posts: 94 Senior Member (75+ posts) | | Senior Member (75+ posts)
Joined: Jan 2005 Posts: 94 | Dear Charm,
I am so sorry to hear the news. May you and your family find the strength to make every day you have together a good one.
Ken
SCCA T2N1M0 diagnosed 11/02, radical neck dissection, 7 weeks radiation, 6 surgeries to deal with osteonecrosis, 10 weeks hyperbaric oxygen. "Live strong. Laugh often."
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#4917 01-30-2005 04:10 PM | Joined: Dec 2004 Posts: 18 Member | | OP Member
Joined: Dec 2004 Posts: 18 | Thanks to you all for your kind thoughts and messages, we thought about a second opinion but decided that the "team" looking after my husband were probably about the best that there are here, they seemed to have taken a lot of time and effort into my husbands treatment and previous surgerys and after reading about everything we believe that they are right, Palliative care over here is a sort of outpatient hospice, I am not really sure of the difference between the two. The cancer society here are really excellent, this weekend coming our family are going on a retreat for three days at a house that they run at a beach, will let you know how it goes, I have been looking forward to it.
charm
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#4918 01-30-2005 04:31 PM | Joined: Feb 2004 Posts: 372 "Above & Beyond" Member (300+ posts) | | "Above & Beyond" Member (300+ posts)
Joined: Feb 2004 Posts: 372 | Dear Charm,
You and your family are in our thoughts and prayers. I hope you have a wonderful time at the beach with the family. Try and enjoy, although it will be hard...I know the kids will just have a wonderful time.
Take care and God bless,
Debbie
Debbie - Caregiver for husband, Dan, diagnosed with tongue cancer 7/03. Partial gloss., mod. neck dissections, graft. Recurrence neck tumor 12/03. Radical left neck dissection 12/24/03-unable to get all the tumor. 8 weeks chemo/rad beginning 1/12/04.
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