#4502 12-19-2004 01:02 PM | Joined: Mar 2004 Posts: 98 Supporting Member (50+ posts) | OP  Supporting Member (50+ posts)
Joined: Mar 2004 Posts: 98 | I wasnt going to post this, with it being so close to the holidays.But i am so lost and i thought someone might be able to tell me how to get through this. My mom died Friday morning in the hospital not actually from the cancer but from complications brought on from treatment, Which ended in april. Her sodium got extremely low again and we took her to the hospital to get fluids, we left her at 1:30am and recieved a call at 6:30am saying we needed to get there asap. By then she was gone. Now I am lost and i just dont know what to do, hoping y'all can help me get through this difficult time.
Was Primary caregiver to my mom who had stage IV, SCC, Supraglottic with Mets to 4 nodes. Diagnosed Feb 04, died unexpectedly from complications from treatment December 17, 2004.
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#4503 12-19-2004 03:08 PM | Joined: Apr 2004 Posts: 837 "Above & Beyond" Member (300+ posts) | | "Above & Beyond" Member (300+ posts)
Joined: Apr 2004 Posts: 837 | Karen,
I'm so sorry to hear what you're going through, especially at this time of year. Do you have family with you, or nearby? I will keep you in my prayers.
Cathy
Tongue SCC (T2M0N0), poorly differentiated, diagnosed 3/89, partial glossectomy and neck dissection 4/89, radiation from early June to late August 1989
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#4504 12-19-2004 04:41 PM | Joined: Oct 2002 Posts: 546 "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts) | | "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts)
Joined: Oct 2002 Posts: 546 | Karen,
I am so sorry to hear the sad news. It will be hard, esp at this time of year, but you will get through this. We lost Heather in October, but I lost my brother several years ago on Christmas eve (he was only 22), lost my grandmother right before Easter a few years ago and my daughter-in-law just had a miscarriage last night, so I am no stranger to having a loss in what should be a joyous time.
Don't even try to "be jolly" for the season. Just let the tears flow and start grieving in any way you see fit. It won't do you any good to try and put it off. But while you are grieving your loss, don't forget to also remember the happy times with your mom. You are a strong person and you will make it through this. Please accept my condolences.
Rosie
Was primary caregiver to my daughter Heather who had stage IV base of tongue SCC w/ primary recurrence. Original diagnosis August 21st, 2002. Primary recurrence March 18th, 2003. Died October 6th, 2003.
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#4505 12-19-2004 05:43 PM | Joined: Nov 2004 Posts: 104 Gold Member (100+ posts) | | Gold Member (100+ posts)
Joined: Nov 2004 Posts: 104 | Karen,
I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your mother. Wish that there was something I could do to ease your pain and that of your family. Please accept my heartfelt condolences.
Peace
Jack
..........
Dx 1/15/97 SCC rt. tonsil met to rt lymph node Stg IV,
Srgry 1/23/97 tonsillectomy & mod radical neck dissection,
Radiation 35 trtmnts both sides | | |
#4506 12-19-2004 06:41 PM | Joined: Jun 2004 Posts: 72 Supporting Member (50+ posts) | | Supporting Member (50+ posts)
Joined: Jun 2004 Posts: 72 | Karen: I am so sorry that you have to deal with the loss of your mother during the holidays! If you lived in northern California I would invite you over for a cup of tea/glass of wine in front of the fire, just to talk about your mom and what she was like when she was healthy. It sounds like you loved her very much, she must have been a good mom and a good person. This is a really tough thing to deal with during the holidays. Sending hugs to you and wishing there was something I could do to ease your loss. Take care! - Candace
Sister of guy w/base of tongue cancer, Stage IV, Dx 4/03, finished Tx 9/03
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#4507 12-20-2004 01:42 AM | Joined: Apr 2004 Posts: 482 "Above & Beyond" Member (300+ posts) | | "Above & Beyond" Member (300+ posts)
Joined: Apr 2004 Posts: 482 | Karen, I am sorry to hear of your loss. My father passed on December 19 also, I know what you are feeling. Try to get through the holidays as best as you can and know that the pain of her loss will gradually lessen until you will be able to accept her absence. Will pray for you and your family to get through this time.
Regards, Kirk Georgia
Stage IV, T1N2aM0, right tonsil primary, Tonsilectomy 11/03, 35 rad/3cisplatin chemo, right neck dissection 1/04 - 5/04.
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#4508 12-20-2004 06:56 AM | Joined: May 2002 Posts: 2,152 Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | | Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
Joined: May 2002 Posts: 2,152 | Karen,
I am so sorry for your loss. Try to remember all the good times you had together to help you deal with your loss. Please accept my deepest sympathy for you and your family.
Take care,
Eileen
----------------------
Aug 1997 unknown primary, Stage III
mets to 1 lymph node in neck; rt ND, 36 XRT rad
Aug 2001 tiny tumor on larynx, Stage I total laryngectomy; left ND
June 5, 2010 dx early stage breast cancer
June 9, 2011 SCC 1.5 cm hypo pharynx, 70% P-16 positive, no mets, Stage I
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#4509 12-20-2004 02:13 PM | Joined: Mar 2004 Posts: 417 "Above & Beyond" Member (300+ posts) | | "Above & Beyond" Member (300+ posts)
Joined: Mar 2004 Posts: 417 | Karen:
Prayer heals, and you have my families prayers.
No one can offer any words that will instantly heal your hurting heart. Although we all know that the soul of man is immortal and that some day we will all be reunited with our loved ones that have gone on before us, we still do not want to let the go and are never really prepared for their departure.
Time will eventually heal your heart...
God bless you...
Darrell
Stage 3, T3,N1,M0,SCC, Base of Tongue. No Surgery, Radiationx39, Chemo, Taxol & Carboplatin Weekly 8 Treatments 2004. Age 60. Recurrence 2/06, SCC, Chest & Neck (Sub clavean), Remission 8/06. Recurrence SCC 12/10/06 Chest.
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#4510 12-20-2004 02:20 PM | Joined: Jul 2003 Posts: 1,163 Patient Advocate (1000+ posts) | | Patient Advocate (1000+ posts)
Joined: Jul 2003 Posts: 1,163 | Hello Karenmm,
I am so sorry to hear about the passing of your Mother. There's not much one can say to ease the pain you feel right now. They say "Time Heals All Wounds" and I hope this is true for you. Grieve in any way you see fit. Take comfort in all the good memories you must have of your Mother. She can be proud of a daughter she raised that reaches out to so many others. Your input on this forum is always sound and logical.
My best to you and your family,
Danny Boy
Daniel Bogan DX 7/16/03 Right tonsil,SCC T4NOMO. right side neck disection, IMRT Radiation x 33.
Recurrance in June 05 in right tonsil area. Now receiving palliative chemo (Erbitux) starting 3/9/06
Our good friend and loved member of the forum has passed away RIP Dannyboy 7-16-2006
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#4511 12-20-2004 05:28 PM | Joined: Feb 2004 Posts: 372 "Above & Beyond" Member (300+ posts) | | "Above & Beyond" Member (300+ posts)
Joined: Feb 2004 Posts: 372 | Hi Karen,
You and your family will be in my prayers. It is so hard to lose someone you love especially around the holidays. Feel free to vent here as we all have endured lots and understand the depression it can bring. God bless you and try and keep in mind all the good times with your mom.
Take care,
Debbie
Debbie - Caregiver for husband, Dan, diagnosed with tongue cancer 7/03. Partial gloss., mod. neck dissections, graft. Recurrence neck tumor 12/03. Radical left neck dissection 12/24/03-unable to get all the tumor. 8 weeks chemo/rad beginning 1/12/04.
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