#4314 11-28-2004 08:14 AM | Joined: Dec 2003 Posts: 47 Contributing Member (25+ posts) | OP  Contributing Member (25+ posts)
Joined: Dec 2003 Posts: 47 | Don is gone. 52 years old. He passed away Tuesday November 23rd at 7PM holding my hand. He was at home like he wanted. He was in a coma the last day. I can't tell you all how devastated I am. I've been away from the board the past couple of months, things were so hectic, pneumonia, trial searching, just plain desperately looking for answers. The chemo did absolutely nothing to slow it down. So, the IMRT didn't work, surgery didn't work, and chemo...nothing. I held him and told him he could go, that supper was ready and he could finally eat and drink and sing... then he was was gone in less than two minutes. God I hurt.I will for the rest of my life, if it weren't for my children I'd want to go with him. But his suffering here is over. One year and three weeks from DX. I can't believe how this tore through him, unbridled. He's everywhere now, I can't set his memory down for a second. How does one go on without their companion? No one could ever live in his shadow...He never hurt anyone. We did everything except work together. Florida, Colorado, concerts. All memories now and so much left undone...I've never been through anything like this before, where do I go from here? I'm not a live support group kind of person so I'll probably try to vent here, if you'll pardon me. The funeral was yesterday. His parents purchased a mausoleum for him, we had never really talked about that but it was already done so I let it be. I want to take flowers, can't. I want to tough the head stone, isn't one, and his "drawer" is out of reach. I want to "talk" to him without feeling everyone else there is listening... Silly, huh? I know HE really isn't there at all. I went there today. It's closed. All things to consider with a choice like this. I'm going to try to get a couple pictures up of him today if I can figure out how to do it. That will give me something to do. I've never felt so lost and alone.
Caretaker/Longtime Girlfriend of Don. Dx 10/31/03 SCC Stage IV T2N3bMO right tonsil/tongue base. 35 IMRT w/8 Chemos,Biopsy 4/5/4 STILL pos. Radical rightside 4/12/4 Reoccurred late August 04 God took his hand from me November 23rd, 2004
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#4315 11-28-2004 09:25 AM | Joined: Jan 2004 Posts: 1,116 Patient Advocate (1000+ posts) | | Patient Advocate (1000+ posts)
Joined: Jan 2004 Posts: 1,116 | Jeepster, I am so sorry to hear about Don. My thoughts and prayers are with you and his family. I am sorry. I wish I had words to help but I know I don't. I would like to give you a big hug if I could. Love, Carol
Diagnosed May 2002 with Stage IV tongue cancer, two lymph nodes positive. Surgery to remove 1/2 tongue, neck dissection, 35 radiation treatments. 11/2007, diagnosed with cancer of soft palate, surgery 12/14/07, jaw split. 3/24/10, cancer on tongue behind flap, need petscan, surgery scheduled 4/16/10
---update passed away 8-27-11---
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#4316 11-28-2004 10:05 AM | Joined: Jul 2003 Posts: 1,163 Patient Advocate (1000+ posts) | | Patient Advocate (1000+ posts)
Joined: Jul 2003 Posts: 1,163 | My thoughts are with you and your family Jeepster. There are no words I can convey that express my sorrow for you and your family.
I take some comfort in knowing Don suffers no more.
It sounds like you and Don had the kind of relationship we all should have. Giving you a big cyber hug!!!
Danny Boy
Daniel Bogan DX 7/16/03 Right tonsil,SCC T4NOMO. right side neck disection, IMRT Radiation x 33.
Recurrance in June 05 in right tonsil area. Now receiving palliative chemo (Erbitux) starting 3/9/06
Our good friend and loved member of the forum has passed away RIP Dannyboy 7-16-2006
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#4317 11-28-2004 11:21 AM | Joined: Nov 2004 Posts: 104 Gold Member (100+ posts) | | Gold Member (100+ posts)
Joined: Nov 2004 Posts: 104 | Jeepster,
I am so sorry to hear of your loss. God Bless You, Don and all of your family and friends.
Jack
..........
Dx 1/15/97 SCC rt. tonsil met to rt lymph node Stg IV, Srgry 1/23/97 tonsillectomy & mod radical neck dissection, Radiation 35 trtmnts both sides | | |
#4318 11-28-2004 12:22 PM | Joined: Dec 2003 Posts: 2,606 Likes: 2 Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | | Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
Joined: Dec 2003 Posts: 2,606 Likes: 2 | Jeepster,
I am really sorry to hear of Don's passing. I know you are hurting so bad right now and I feel so helpless to not be able to do something for you. I am praying for comfort and peace for you and I offer my deepest sympathies for you and your family. God Bless You.
Ed
SCC Stage IV, BOT, T2N2bM0
Cisplatin/5FU x 3, 40 days radiation
Diagnosis 07/21/03 tx completed 10/08/03
Post Radiation Lower Motor Neuron Syndrome 3/08.
Cervical Spinal Stenosis 01/11
Cervical Myelitis 09/12
Thoracic Paraplegia 10/12
Dysautonomia 11/12
Hospice care 09/12-01/13.
COPD 01/14
Intermittent CHF 6/15
Feeding tube NPO 03/16
VFI 12/2016
ORN 12/2017
Cardiac Event 06/2018
Bilateral VFI 01/2021
Thoracotomy Bilobectomy 01/2022
Bilateral VFI 05/2022
Total Laryngectomy 01/2023
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#4319 11-28-2004 01:21 PM | Joined: Aug 2003 Posts: 1,627 Patient Advocate (1000+ posts) | | Patient Advocate (1000+ posts)
Joined: Aug 2003 Posts: 1,627 | Jeepster, I'm so sorry for your pain. I wish there was some way for us to take it away. Don was so lucky to have you a part of his life.
Minnie
SCC Left Mandible. Jaw replaced with bone from leg. Neck disection, 37 radiation treatments. Recurrence 8-28-07, stage 2, tongue. One third of tongue removed 10-4-07. 5-23-08 chemo started for tumor behind swallowing passage, Our good friend and much loved OCF member Minnie has been lost to the disease (RIP 10-29-08). We will all miss her greatly.
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#4320 11-28-2004 01:49 PM | Joined: Sep 2003 Posts: 153 Gold Member (100+ posts) | | Gold Member (100+ posts)
Joined: Sep 2003 Posts: 153 | Jeepster,
my thoughts are with you. You are a very special person for your love and devotion to Don.
larryb | | |
#4321 11-28-2004 03:55 PM | Joined: Oct 2004 Posts: 34 Contributing Member (25+ posts) | | Contributing Member (25+ posts)
Joined: Oct 2004 Posts: 34 | Jeepster,
I am so sorry to hear of your loss. May your every day be somewhat easier then the day before. The same strength that enabled you to hold Don's hand thru this terrible disease, will also get you thru your grief, somehow, someway. Use this site to vent all you want. You are among friends.
From one care-giver to another, my thoughts are with you. Peace, Laurie
Dx June 18, 2004, neck dissection July 1, 35 radiation txs Aug 18-Oct 7.
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#4322 11-28-2004 03:55 PM | Joined: Oct 2004 Posts: 34 Contributing Member (25+ posts) | | Contributing Member (25+ posts)
Joined: Oct 2004 Posts: 34 | Jeepster,
I am so sorry to hear of your loss. May your every day be somewhat easier then the day before. The same strength that enabled you to hold Don's hand thru this terrible disease, will also get you thru your grief, somehow, someway. Use this site to vent all you want. You are among friends.
From one care-giver to another, my thoughts are with you. Peace, Laurie
Dx June 18, 2004, neck dissection July 1, 35 radiation txs Aug 18-Oct 7.
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#4323 11-28-2004 03:56 PM | Joined: Apr 2003 Posts: 30 Contributing Member (25+ posts) | | Contributing Member (25+ posts)
Joined: Apr 2003 Posts: 30 | I am so sorry for your pain, I think we all feel it. Take care of yourself, I am sure he would want you to do that. Bless you.
Becky | | |
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