Hello, everyone. My father's surgery is this Thursday and I am just so glad as his pain has been increasing steadily and it breaks my heart watching him struggle with this . . .

Today the reconstructive surgeon told us that, if my dad needs to have the bone replaced in his mandible, that he will have to use bone from his scapula (shoulder blade). He tested my dad's legs and the blood flow is not great. My dad only has one good arm so he did not want to use the arm, nor does he like to use the arm because he feels the bone is too thin. I was just wondering if anyone has had this done in this area and what to expect.

It is all a big unknown as to what will be done on Thursday. The waiting is so difficult for me, I can only imagine what it is like for my dad. He does not know what he will be waking up to... either they will just be removing the tumor in the front of his jaw, or part of the bone or all of the bone. Plus a bilateral neck dissection. Today, well, today he just looked so awful that I wanted to just cry but want to hold it together for him just a little bit longer. I have spent the last few weeks crying and now I feel it is time to be strong. But how do I not lose it when I see him for the last time before surgery?

You all have been so helpful and supportive and I cannot thank you enough for being there for us. I am touched by your strength and how you are all so giving. Please send a prayer or two our way on Thursday. . . it will be the longest day ever.

Laura and Ted

Dear Laura and Ted,
I don't have any experience/knowledge about what your dad is facing. I understand about the fear, as does everyone here. The day my mom had her surgery the OR nurse told her to calm down because how she went into the surgery (emotionally), that was how she would come out. We were very concerned for my mom because she has a heart condition we were never aware of before April when we found out for pre-op tests.
Hearing the nurse tell mom that also helped me be stronger, I just knew that she was going to need me to be strong. I cried a little with my mom prior to going to the hospital that morning. It's hard not to. I wish I had something to say that would make you feel better. Please know that I will be praying for you both. You can do this, you've already gone through so much, you'll be amazed at how strong you really are. God Bless.
Love,
Donna

Dear Laura and Ted


I too don't know exactly the surgery your dad is facing ..But the FEAR I understand ALL to well. Somthing someone said to me right before surgery helped and I would like to pass it on ... Think of it as the Beggining Of Winning the Battle on this disease. You ae going into the OR with it and COming out with out it .

When you look at it like that ..It makes it seem worth it. All surgery is scary ..I have had 5 in 8 months ..and they have all been very nerve racking and just one thing after another !!! But knowing that they are going in there to get rid of this horrible disease. I will b thinking of you all and your dad and I will say and Prayer for you all . PLease know I hold you in my heart at this time and I am sending you all ((((HUGS)))


Shar

Dearest Laura...unfortunately, I know too much about what your father is about to face, but there is only ONE thing that you must know, and that is, that the alternative could be much, much worse. You CAN get through this!
Yes, the waiting is the hardest obstacle to overcome.
Just know that both of you will be in our thoughts and prayers as you begin this journey.
Keep us updated as to your father's progress..

Lois & Buzz in NC

prayers to you!

Hi Laura,

I had the bone taken from my leg so can't offer anything about the scapula being used. I can tell you that when I woke up, my first thought was that it wasn't half as bad as I thought it would be. I DID dislike the trach, but that isn't uncommon and only lasts that first day or so.
Going into surgery can be very emotional. I remember being very, very calm until one of the docs, one I hadn't seen before but that was going to be involved in the surgery, took my hand while I was on the gurney and said, "I hear you have seven beautiful daughters". That's all it took and I was in tears but they were rolling me away by that time. Strong emotion is expected. But we also have to have self control. The drive to the hospital and getting ready to go was the worst for me. I just didn't know what to say to my family, I felt bad for THEM. I mean think about it, we're told to arrive at the hospital at some god awful time in the morning.............so they can take us or our family member into a room and cut pieces of us off. We come out changed, never the same. It's alot for the mind to wrap itself around. The best and most encouraging part about it is that we all get through it! No one runs screaming down the halls of the hospital screaming they don't want to go..........no one simply fails to show up at all for their surgery. It has to happen, it's going to happen, and dealing with the emotions head on is best. Talk to your dad, push at him to let you know how he's feeling. I'm horrible for keeping my feelings inside........my daughter Amy knows how to push to get me to show them.........and boy do I feel better after I do.
Good luck with it and please keep us posted on how he's doing.

Minnie

Laura
being a carer means just that.YOU CARE!! the very nature of the job means there will be many many times you have to sit and wait and wonder and there will be many times when your heart will break to see what this bloody disease and the treatment for it are doing to your Dad.
Just keep focused on what your Dad needs hun.

Top of the list Love,Smiles,a positive attitude, cry in private and vent on these boards .will be thinking of you on Friday

love Liz

Thank you all so much. Your words mean so much. I will keep you posted.

Love

Laura and Ted