My mother has had several surgeries to remove oral cancer in her mouth. Every time it was Stage I (in Situ). The first time the doctor thought it was cured (very good pathology report). But it recurred in different areas of the same side of her month several times. The doctor did not recommend radiation as it was difficult to pinpoint where "to radiate"

But now that the prospect of radiation becomes real, my mother is extremlly distressed. She is crying non-stop, and the very thought that she cannot even come out of the house without people noticing burns on her face bring her to tears. She does not want anyone to know that that has cancer or undergoing treatments. And since she lives in New York in an apartment building, it's hard for her to even go to the street without popping into someone.

Add to that a lot of pain she is already experiencing in her mouth because of all the surgeries. Her desire to go through with procedures and even with her life are not at the highest level at the moment.

I would like to ask women that had to go through this: how did the radiation treatment go? What kept you going? How do you motivate and console someone who is going through this?

Thanks.

Well first of all I am sorry to hear you and your mother are going going through this. Second, I am not a woman but I went through the radiation treatments to my neck and throat. I did not suffer any burns. There are plenty of creams available to keep the treated area moisturized. My motovation through it was simple, I wanted my life back and I was going to fight like hell to get it. I would suggest you ask your preist to speak with your mother or find a support agency or group to speak with her and show her there is life after treatment of this disease. Have her read what she will on this website and encourage futher research. I hope I helped some. Good luck and God bless.

Wow, I can't imagine what you and your mom are feeling...I am so sorry.
My mom had 31 tx's of IMRT and 8 cycles of Erbitux. She didn't burn so to speak, it was more like a darkening of her skin on her face. She constantly says that she looks like our Bischon, she thinks it looks like a dirty muzzle. It really isn't that bad, she can wear make-up over it and it lightens it a little. She too has been very self conscious about people seeing her looking like that and who can blame them? My mom did have some issues on her chest, though we can't pinpoint if it is from the chemo rash, or maybe the radiation. I tend to think it was caused by the chemo antibody.
Aquaphor and dombero soaks, both available over the counter, work very well for skin conditions and my mom says it feels very soothing.

My mother completed her rad treatments the end of Aug. '07, she was finally beginning to come around from the fatigue, was starting to see that some of her taste buds were returning and her tongue was looking fairly normal. From the beginning of this treatment plan we knew that she would get a few weeks off and then have brachytherapy, internal radiation. To be quite honest, I don't know which of us was more upset that she had to go back in for more treatment--but it had to be done.
I am her primary caregiver. What I can share with you is that I myself had to muster so much faith to get her through it and to help me also. My mom cried, and when she cried I cried also-though not nearly as much, I usually cried at the supermarket when I was alone. I also had to be the one to say, 'ok this is going to be tough, but you will beat this, you have to get up and force yourself to go to every appt.' She did, never missed one--can't say that I would have been that strong. It's a hard call to define the line of parent and child, while I had to take over, I didn't want to rob her of any respect or her independence. I think I gently gave her little pushes, I listened a lot to what she had to say, I shared absolutely EVERYTHING

OOPS! didn't mean to add the reply just yet.
I was saying that I shared everything I had read here, and all the wonderful and supportive messages I received, and still continue to get.
It's hard to be a cheerleader, especially when you get slapped down by what you thought was going to happen, what you had prepared yourself for and then the change of all that for different reasons. I wrote my mom a letter about how I felt about what she was facing. I told her she would not be alone, that I would take every step with her, and I would never give up on her, even if it came to the point where she was ready to toss the towel in. My best advice? Let her know how much you love her and believe in her. Let her express her fears, talk about them-it seemed that when her fear was fully recognized she was able to move on.
I feel so badly for you and your mom. She is a fighter, she may not seem that way now but look at her history, she wants to beat this. She'll make it through rads, my mom's skin is already lightening up and she just had 3.5 days of internal radiation, that is equivalent to 3.5 weeks worth. Aquaphor -- incredible ointment.
I know that Margaret, a friend here on the forum, husband did have burns. She may have some valuable advice for you.
If you ever would like to talk, you could email me and I'll give you my number. I find it difficult to express myself writing. We've been through a lot, she was supposed to have surgery, partial glossectomy, we found out that she had had a heart attack sometime in the last 10 years and were basically told that to do all of that would be extremely hard on her heart.
Best of luck to you and your mom. Let her know how much she means to you and I'm sure that will make her fight harder still.
Donna